Hi, this is Ray, the source of all black knowledge. Let me introduce you to another great

podcast I had the pleasure to be a part of, the Confessional, hosted by author and ordained

Lutheran pastor Nadia Bouts Weber. She writes and speaks about personal failings, recovery, grace,

faith, and really, whatever the hell

else she wants to.

Described as a car wash for the soul, let's step into the confessional.

There are scenes from movies that, no matter how many times I watch them, I somehow can't keep from crying all over again.

Art can do this.

Excavate a buried thing inside of us and hold it up until our eyes adjust to the bright truth of it.

There is that scene from Goodwill Hunting, when Matt Damon's character, who tried to cover the pain of their childhood abuse with a veneer of toughness and bravado,

is told by his therapist that it wasn't your fault.

And he brushes it off, but the therapist won't stop repeating it.

It wasn't your fault.

Until finally, Will breaks down sobbing, unburdened by the truth and the relief of it. And there's Robert De Niro's character in the mission set in the 18th century, a mercenary and slave trader in South America

who kills his own brother in a fit of jealousy and says to a Jesuit priest that he is beyond

saving, that for him redemption is not a possibility.

And yet the priest gives him penance anyway to carry a large net full of the trappings of his past,

armor and weapons and gold, and walk with it on his back for miles, carried up steep cliffs and waterfalls. An easy metaphor

for the dead weight of his own shame. After an exhausting, painful journey, when De Niro finally hoists

himself to the top, he's cut free from the net by someone who had every right to instead cut his throat.

And the contents fall down the cliff, and he collapses into sobs. It was his fault.

I felt like both these characters at varying times in my life, carrying both the weight of what I cannot be blamed for,

...