Bonus Episode: Why You Want Love But Push It Away (Disorganized Attachment) - Valentine’s Day Special, Part 1
Let’s Get Vulnerable: Relationship and Dating Advice
Dr. Morgan Anderson
4.7 • 1.2K Ratings
🗓️ 15 February 2026
⏱️ 35 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Happy Valentine’s Day to you! 💗 Whether you’re single, dating, partnered, or somewhere in between, this episode is a reminder that love does not come into your life to fix you, save you, or fill a void. In this 2-Part Valentines Day Special Episode, I’m going deep into disorganized (fearful-avoidant) attachment, why you can crave closeness so deeply and then feel the urge to run the moment love starts to feel real. If you’ve ever wondered, “Why do I want love so badly… and then push it away?” this episode is for you. I’m sharing real examples, nervous-system truths, and the compassion you need to start understanding yourself instead of judging yourself.
Inside the episode:
- Why disorganized attachment makes love feel both comforting and dangerous and how this creates the push-pull dynamic
- How a dysregulated nervous system (not a lack of willpower or insight) drives self-sabotage, protest behaviors, and attraction to unavailable partners
- What actually creates change: moving beyond insight into deep nervous-system and attachment rewiring so you can embody secure love
If you’re ready to stop repeating the same patterns and start becoming securely attached, from the inside out, you don’t have to do this alone. To find the best program or coaching offer for you, head to: https://www.drmorgancoaching.co/esl-breakthrough
🔗 Additional Episode Links:
- Take the Free Attachment Style Quiz → https://drmorgancoaching.com/quiz
- Follow me on IG → @drmorgancoaching
- Grab my book: Grab my best selling book Love Magnet
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to the Let's Get Vulnerable podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Morgan Anderson, psychologist, relationship coach, attachment theory expert, creator of the ESL relationship method, author of Love Magnet and Athletic Wear Connoisseur. My mission is to help you raise yourself worth, have great relationships, and step confidently into the next level of your life. |
| 0:21.3 | Each week, two episodes will air featuring expert advice, live coaching, and tips showing |
| 0:27.3 | you exactly how to improve your life and attract a healthy relationship. |
| 0:31.5 | You deserve to feel empowered, secure, and love. |
| 0:35.4 | Buckle up and let's get vulnerable. |
| 0:41.1 | Welcome to the Let's Get Vulnerable podcast. |
| 0:44.3 | I'm your host, Dr. Morgan, happy Valentine's Day. |
| 0:47.6 | Whether you are single in a relationship, dating, not dating, this is a day where you can just acknowledge love and the |
| 0:57.0 | love that you have for yourself and that awareness that the right relationship does not come in |
| 1:03.3 | and fill a void. I had spent so many Valentine's Day, crying myself to sleep, eating that |
| 1:09.9 | pint of ice cream, laying on the floor, |
| 1:12.8 | listening to my breakup playlist. I had spent so many times in the past just thinking, oh, |
| 1:20.6 | if only I had a partner, then I would feel better, then I would love myself, then I would finally |
| 1:26.9 | be enough. And I just want to start |
| 1:28.7 | this episode with this quick reminder that, hey, a relationship does not come into your life and |
| 1:34.9 | finally make you feel good enough. It doesn't come in and fill a void. It doesn't change your |
| 1:42.9 | self-worth. It doesn't even change your happiness. It can put a |
| 1:48.0 | band-aid on temporarily. You can get lots of dopamine hits, but it's not going to change how you |
| 1:54.0 | really feel about yourself and how you feel about your life. All of that is an internal job. There's nothing external that can change |
| 2:03.8 | that for you. So the beautiful thing is you get to focus on you, right? You have the power to show up |
| 2:12.1 | and do this inner work, become securely attached, embody your highest and best version of you that's grounded in love |
| 2:21.3 | instead of fear. All of that is up to you. It's not dependent on a partner. And I think when you start |
... |
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