Bonus Episode: The Stories of Heretical Christmas

The Story Must Be Told

The Last Podcast Network

Arts

4.8 • 530 Ratings

🗓️ 21 December 2018

⏱️ 25 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Our hearts are burdened with love for you, our dear congregation. Our arteries are full of well wishes! Our veins are clogged with oxygen-depleted wishes. We are a chugging machine whose only duty is to love you and make you feel the seasonal spirit of the Story. That said, Christmas is a lie. Reject falsehood. Embrace the Story! Invocation Liturgical Reading: "The Wisest of the Them All" Liturgical Reading: "He's Coming to Town" Enjoy this present from the clergy here at The Story Must Be Told, of our heretical stories of the false holiday. We gave it to you last year, too. We will have another treat for you this coming Tuesday, so prepare yon bodies for the delights they shall endure.

Transcript

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0:00.0	The story must be told.
0:12.0	Hello, brothers and sisters.
0:17.0	On this, a day that's not our usual Blessed Tuesday, but a blessed day and nonetheless,
0:23.8	it's your old buddy, brother Reed.
0:25.9	In the tidings of a season not welcomed by the story, we have decided to share fun, festive, stories.
0:33.5	Oh yes, your Christmas is no friend of the story, not until it recognizes the story as the
0:41.5	true Lord and purpose behind every baby born and every corpse a worm, but do not be alarmed.
0:48.0	For you might think these endorse a false tyranny of red and green and commercial enterprise, but they do not.
0:57.8	In each of these stories, which, by the way, must be told...
1:01.2	The story must be told.
1:03.0	Yes, yes, that's right.
1:04.5	You will hear the true majesty of the story.
1:08.5	Usurp all that Christmas does infect.
1:12.5	It's the stories now.
1:15.2	Sorry Christmas,
1:16.8	but it was never any different anyhow.
1:20.2	Listeners might recognize these from last year,
1:22.6	and yes, we have decided to share them with you again,
1:25.9	our loving, faithful flock.
1:29.4	This coming Tuesday we will have another special treat, but not a story per se.
1:34.7	So enjoy your Yule Tide lies with your loved ones.
1:39.6	Cue up a browser or a Vimeo app to watch what we have a coming, and rest assured we will not surrender
	...

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