BONUS EPISODE! Mel Schilling: the MAFS dating expert on confidence, relationships and the secret to finding true love

How To Fail With Elizabeth Day

Sony Music

Society & Culture

4.7 • 9.6K Ratings

🗓️ 5 April 2023

⏱️ 79 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

TW: fertilityRegular listeners will know I'm a devoted watcher of Married At First Sight, so I squealed with joy when the brilliant Mel Schilling agreed to come on the pod. Not only is she one of Australia's foremost dating experts, but as a former psychologist and a specialist in human behaviour and performance, she's the perfect person to ask about how to find true love in the dating wilderness, how to feel more confident and what it's really like filming MAFS behind the scenes. And rest assured, I asked ALL OF THIS AND MORE.We also discuss how she only found the courage to pursue her passion later in life, why she dated 'all the emotionally unavailable men' in her 20s and 30s and her fertilty journey - please be aware, if you're currently going through a fertilty struggle yourself that you might find this part triggering (but you might also find it helpful - I know I did).I love Mel so much and she's even better in person. I hope you enjoy the episode, and then enjoy catching up with all the latest MAFS episodes, of course...--Mel's book, The C Word (Confidence): Make friends with fear and build confidence from the ground up, is available to buy here.--My new book, FRIENDAHOLIC: Confessions of a Friendship Addict, is out now and available to purchase here.--How To Fail With Elizabeth Day is hosted and produced by Elizabeth Day. To contact us, email howtofailpod@gmail.com--Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayHow To Fail @howtofailpodMel Schilling @mel_schilling1 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello and welcome to How to Fail with Elizabeth Day. The podcast that celebrates the things
0:19.2	that haven't gone right. This is a podcast about learning from our mistakes and understanding
0:25.5	that why we fail ultimately makes us stronger because learning how to fail in life actually means
0:32.2	learning how to succeed better. I'm your host, author and journalist Elizabeth Day and every
0:38.4	week I'll be asking a new interviewee what they've learned from failure. My guest today has taught
0:45.5	me so much despite the fact that until now I've never actually met her. Melanie Schilling is known
0:53.3	to many of us as one of the therapists on Married Up First site. The television program where experts
0:59.0	match compatible strangers who then meet on their wedding day with fascinating and sometimes
1:04.9	explosive results. Schilling has always been a comforting yet rigorously insightful expert on the
1:12.4	couch. My favourite bits are generally when she calls out a man for his raging misogyny with calm
1:19.0	yet lethal precision. She's been in the role since 2016 when maths launched in Australia. There's
1:25.0	now an equally compelling UK version which regularly attracts a massive audience on Twitter as much as
1:32.1	on TV. Schilling, a specialist in human behaviour and performance, has built a 20-year career as a
1:38.7	therapist, business consultant and leadership coach for high performing people. Her book The Seaward
1:45.7	Confidence, Make Friends with Fear and Build Confidence from the Ground Up was published last year.
1:51.4	In it she writes that confidence, courage and competence have the capacity to shift us from
1:57.4	I wish to I did. Mel Schilling, welcome to How To Fail. Thank you so much. I wished to have you on How To
2:06.3	Fail and I did and now you're here sitting in front of me. You manifested me. I'm such a
2:12.3	fan girl. I really, really am. I really am. I was already from maths but your book is brilliant
2:18.9	and so full of practical compassion and it's one of the few books that I have read for this
2:25.4	podcast that it has exclusively garnered five star reviews from readers. It's actually really
2:30.8	impressive and I wonder if I could start with that before peppering you with all the
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