I don't read the comments, but somehow they find their way to me through anxious friends

and family, who seem to think that strangers on the internet might get some say in my

life.

Sometimes the sharing is cryptic, like when my aunt will text me, oh Rachel, I can't believe

the things they're saying about you on Facebook.

Sometimes it's specific, like people reaching out and asking for a refund to a women's

conference they attended years before, due to the fact that I am a misleading liar,

and because she thought she was being taught by a God-fearing woman, and since only a

center contemplates divorce, I rebuke everything you've taught me.

As if the pain of the decision to end our marriage isn't already hard enough.

As if breaking this news to our children wasn't one of the most gut-wrenching moments of

our lives.

As if fighting to still be a family and still remain friends, even in the midst of it

all, isn't nearly impossible to carry.

As if the years I've spent teaching negates the fact that I am and have only ever been

a human being navigating my way through to the best of my ability.

Here's what I say to that.

And my response isn't truly for the people who think I should carry some guilt for getting

divorced.

No, my response is for anyone who finds themselves trying to shake loose the shame others ask

them to carry, and they need a go-to response.

Try this one.

...