The Bugle, audio newspaper for a visual world!

Hello, Bugleers and welcome to Bugle's sub-episode 4159B for Bat Balls and Bubbles.

I am Andy Zoltzmann in the Antiviral Cricket Oatsphere, here at the Alt Trafford Cricket Ground in Manchester,

where the natural medicinal powers of cricket statistics are proving to give me 110%

impregnable immunity from all reality I can highly recommend it.

I've been busy with my frankly sensational collection of coloured pens,

super high-tech space-age stuff, bits of paper, ditto and databases of pure cricketing facts,

the greatest natural mind-barm known to humanity,

watching England and the West Indies and, as I record this,

Manchester drizzle tussle it out in echoingly empty cricketing grounds.

It is very old, and the best thing about it, apart from living out my quirky childhood reveries,

is that I have absolutely no idea what has been happening in the world in the last two weeks.

I imagine things have been awesomely good, what with all the science, technology, intelligence

and innate goodness of humanity working collectively towards a better shared future, as usual.

I imagine the British Prime Minister has dealt with his challenges with car insurance, sound logic,

and the innate sense of fair play that enabled us to share our end-by with so many colonial

colleagues back in the British day. I imagine the President of the USA has projected hope and aspiration

to all oppressed freedom-hungry people in America and the rest of the universe.

I imagine everyone is looking forward optimistically to the impending eradication of the great

curses of our times, poverty, hunger, disease, inequality, prejudice and the unnecessary overuse

of the word like. But I don't know, because all I've been thinking about is the slowly emerging

pointless narrative canvas that is a five-day cricket match. We will have a proper bugle next week.

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