Now it's time for real time 2.0 your task to listen in behind the scenes to the real time monologue jokes America didn't hear

Thank you. Oh, okay. How about that crowd? It's our last show of the season but I guess the world will be on edge for the next month or year or forever I don't know I mean I gotta say Paris

I'm just fucking love Paris man defiant have you seen what they're doing? Well you saw this they got the mastermind of the Paris

It's after the

Very bloody raid they have there they got Abdul Hamid Abu and by the way the media has to stop calling him the mastermind

What hey next Friday let's go shoot some people this is not masterminding in the world of terror if you're smart enough to get everyone to agree to a date in a time you're a mastermind

And they released a video right before they found a guy dead threatening New York so yeah there was footage of Times Square with a guy with the suicide belt and all New Yorkers reacted the same way

Like I need another reason not to go to Times Square

But yes America has reacted to terrorism as we always do by getting stupid airshitting in our pants and

Panicking and the proof of that is that Donald Trump rising in the polls

Trump said today we're gonna have to do things that frankly were unthinkable a year ago like voting for Donald Trump

Trump

I know that you know the refugee issue is a big thing but the Syrian refugees we were showing compassion now there are

Republicans are coming up with a solution for the refugees they're just gonna let in the Christian ones that's what they want to do

Bad news for Syria right news for a hundred million Mexicans this

But

But

No way so we're not gonna let in the Muslims we're just gonna let in the Christians

This is gonna be a very interesting vetting process when people get to the border. What are your feelings about gay people?

Do you want to hang them in the town square or do you just want to refuse to bake them a wedding cake?

I

Can't believe this

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