Sail the world a different way with Fred Olsen cruise lines.

Our award-winning itineraries are unusual and imaginative,

bursting with local culture, history and wildlife,

and aboard our smaller ships, the atmosphere is always warm and friendly.

It'd be easy to follow the crowds, but we never will,

because this is our way, the Olsen Way,

but by the 31st of January for free drinks or spend on selected sailings.

Visit Fred OlsenCruises.com for more information.

Season C's Apply.

That's better, h-e-l-p.com-mince.

It's a nice bin, that.

You can't smell it, mate.

Music

Hello ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to Athletic Opa Steps with me Bob Mortimer.

I hope you're in good spirits and that your drains and outlets are flowing freely.

I would like you to imagine that you're at home, at home,

along seated on your favourite armchair watching a much loved movie.

You have a hot mug of tea and a thickly buttered ham sandwich on a plate in your lap.

When your gorgeous cat kernel short-arms is gently purring on the cushion next to you,

with a content in smile on your face you take a bite of your sandwich in a sip of tea.

Then suddenly there is a loud wrapping on the door.

You pause your movie and answer.

...