How are we doing alright? Yeah, but... Yeah, welcome to Past Snips everyone. Should we call this Christmas occasion? It's a Christmas special, I think. You're going to call it that? Well, I don't know. We'll see if we can call it up. We'll see how much Christmas stuff we can get.

What's Christmas stuff there is in it because it might not be all that Christmassy. No, then I suppose that would be special because everything else is Christmassy, sort of do something now that's not Christmassy would buy it near to be special.

I agree. What's happened to your eye? It's a mess. It looks septic. It's a star. Do you remember them? Do you remember stars? Oh yeah. I've not had one since about 1985.

You must be run down. Isn't that what you're just about to say? Is that what it is? I've got to stay in me. I want to say five.

Have you been poking your eye into business? You shouldn't have been. Are you your dogs business? Because it looks, it does look infected and pussy, you know. I did a trip to the tip of the day and then I went to some charity shops and then maybe I scratched my eye afterwards.

I don't know. Can you catch stars from charity shops? I think that's a bit of a slur, isn't it? It's charity shops. I've never heard of that ever happening. So this is a Christmas or maybe not Christmas. Yeah.

You're wearing a unident t-shirt which I like on you under. You're very vibrant. Thank you very much. Well look, look, I've got an intro. One of the old-fashioned intros, yeah. Right, yeah. So let's give that a go.

Hello boys and girls. I hope you're in a good spirits and aware that fear is a very powerful emotion. Imagine if you can that you're walking the streets of Sunderland in the early hours of the morning searching for a stranger to share your thoughts with. Halfway along a dark alley, beyond a row of shops the shadowy figure appears from behind the dumpster.

You can't make out his features but something about him suggests his intent is benign. All right, mate, you ask? Yeah, I'll fight. Here's the thing, I know exactly what it is you're looking for.

He hands you a set of headphones that you put on your ears. A broad smile appears in your face. This is indeed what you've been searching for for your whole life. Country, fucking music.

I've been listening to that country, fucking music. Give me everything I've asked to need. I've been drinking it like chocolate, apple milkshake. And adding it to my children's morning feed.

I've bought a bold tie with his two long belted fingers. I've attached some spurs to my washing machine. Now I'm dancing in circles from a bedroom living out the country music, fucking old green.

I'm not hot-punky, I'm not bright as a spark, I'm empty door doors and I'm pissing on shadows.

Shadows in the fucking dark. I've got grits and tootsie rolls in my freezer. I've got bales of hay and horses shoes in my hall.

I wear a waistcoat and a moonstone fucking stetson. Yeah, I'm having myself a comfy and western ball.

I'm not hot-punky, I'm not bright as a spark, I'm empty door doors and I'm pissing on shadows.

Shadows in the fucking dark. Y'all, there you go.

Wow, can I just do a yee-ha? Yeah! That was incredible.

Combination intro, and an incredible feat of technical achievement, segwaying from one song into another.

What are you putting in your mouth now? What you got?

You spotted me. It's a little bit of Christmas cake. Christmas e-cake. It's not the actual Christmas cake.

It's one that shaped like the Alps and it's got icing sugar on it.

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