Blurry Hysteria: Wiggle Wars | 428
Hysteria 51
ForthHand Media
4.3 • 1.2K Ratings
🗓️ 23 April 2025
⏱️ 29 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
This week on Blurry Hysteria, we’re heading straight into the entomological underworld and… the world’s weirdest fertility-themed Grand Prix?
First, we dig into the ant-ics of smugglers trying to sneak live garden ants out of Kenya like they’re the latest black-market superfood. Belgian and Vietnamese nationals were caught trying to scurry away with these little critters, but the real question is: why ants? And how do you even get through customs with a suitcase full of bugs?
Then, we pivot from ants to, well, another kind of swarm—Sperm Racing. That’s right, Los Angeles hosted a very real, very bizarre event where hundreds of people gathered to bet on which donor’s little swimmers could outpace the rest in a lab-rat drag race. Science? Art? Performance? Vegas-style fertility? We’re not entirely sure, but someone brought pom-poms.
Grab your popcorn and your magnifying glass—this episode's got creepy crawlies, reproductive roller derbies, and the kind of news that makes your search history deeply suspicious.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | The following is a fourth-hand production. |
| 0:11.0 | What's up, nation? |
| 0:12.3 | Welcome in to another blurry hysteria. |
| 0:15.9 | It's a blurry in here. |
| 0:17.4 | How about that old intro song for this week? |
| 0:22.7 | We're gonna get, we're gonna hit them with one about ants in |
| 0:25.3 | your pants and sperm races. Oh, you know it. |
| 0:28.3 | All right, let's play it. |
| 0:30.2 | Kyle, if you will. |
| 0:31.9 | Yeah. Brent and David kick it off again. |
| 0:48.3 | Weird Wednesday tales where the oddities begin. |
| 0:51.3 | Ants in Belgian pants, who'd believe the chance smuggled |
| 0:55.6 | critters dancing in a sneaky stance ants in the pants oh the Belgian dance |
| 1:01.4 | tiny feet marching in a smuggler's trance weird news is flowing like a fevered |
| 1:07.0 | stream welcome to the podcast of a bizarre dream. |
| 1:11.6 | Sperm racing headlines make the room |
| 1:26.6 | laughter fills the air on this peculiar |
| 1:29.3 | a road microscopes and wagers who will claim the crown fastest swimmer wins in a science showdown |
| 1:36.3 | ants in the pants pull the Belgian dance tiny feet marching in a smugglers trance |
| 1:43.3 | weird news is flowing like a fever stream |
| 1:46.0 | Welcome to the podcast of a bizarre dream |
| 1:50.0 | From pants of beat, |
... |
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