Blame It On Pazuzu with Mike Schur
The Distraction: A Defector Podcast
Defector Media
4.4 • 2.5K Ratings
🗓️ 16 April 2026
⏱️ 66 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Mike Schur is back, and we’re talking baseball! The MLB has rolled out its automated ball strike challenge system, but how do Mike and Roth feel about it? Will they trash CB Buckner for having six of his six strike calls overturned? Then, Roth must face the reality of his Mets being in last place. Next, Drew requires more wild food takes from Mike, like his hate for hot fruit or his belief that onion is the only good pizza topping. And finally, they open up the funbag to finally solve what movie you should be watching in the bathroom.
Check out Mike’s new book, Big Fan, May 19th!
Do you want to hear your question answered on the pod? Well, give us a call at 909-726-3720. That is 909-PANERA-0!
Stuff We Talked About
- Cards that don’t appreciate (but don’t depreciate)
- A little piece of salami
- Hugging your BFF on the field
- Apple pie and espresso in the dugout
- The Ulysses S. Grant of the MLB
- Falling down the Exorcist steps
- Onions are the only good pizza topping
- A bathroom trip in THX
Sponsors
- Raycon, where you can get 15% off the Everyday Earbuds Classic
- MeUndies, where you can get up to 50% off your first order, plus free shipping
Credits
- Hosts: Drew Magary & David Roth
- Producer: Brandon Grugle
- Editor: Mischa Stanton
- Production Services & Ads: Multitude Podcasts
- Subscribe to Defector!
About The Show
The Distraction is Defector's flagship podcast about sports (and movies, and art, and sandwiches, and certain coastal states) from longtime writers Drew Magary and David Roth. Every week, Drew and Roth tackle subjects, both serious and impossibly stupid, with a parade of guests from around the world of sports and media joining in the fun! Roth and Drew also field Funbag questions from Defector readers, answer listener voicemails, and get upset about the number of people who use speakerphone while in a public bathroom stall. This is a show where everything matters, because everyone could use a Distraction. Head to defector.com for more info.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | We're back. We're back. It's a distraction. I'm Drew. That's raw. How are you doing Roth? |
| 0:07.2 | I'm good, man. You know me. Feeling good. How are you? |
| 0:11.4 | That sounded so genuine when you said it. Yeah. Do you want me to do it again with less energy? Would that be useful? No, you know, no, I'm doing good too because it's, it's just boiling hot now, like around here, |
| 0:23.6 | like, like, there's a little bit of spring, but at some point, like, they just, God just flips |
| 0:28.8 | the switch and it's instantly July and you're just, your balls are stuck to your thigh and all that |
| 0:33.3 | fun stuff. But I realized, and this is from one of the commenters of Defector this week, |
| 0:39.3 | like, they were like, hey, he knows anyone else's like your SAT getting worse as the years go on? |
| 0:45.1 | And it hit me your right thing. It's my old man before he died. His SAT got worse every year. |
| 0:50.8 | Now, he was living up where I was, I was always telling him, don't live where it's fucking cold, |
| 0:54.9 | but whatever. He, they wouldn't do that. But also, I had a shit winner too, and I kept blaming it |
| 0:59.9 | on the news because why wouldn't I, correct? Yeah. But I do think, I do, I do think I got the |
| 1:06.1 | seasonal affect. I would not have been ingesting quite as much cannabis, uh, as I was ingesting all winter long. Yeah, I don't know what I would not have been ingesting quite as much cannabis as I was ingesting all winter long. |
| 1:13.5 | Yeah, I don't know what I would have been doing if I didn't have the winner that I had. |
| 1:18.0 | But I can't put it all on seasonal affective disorder. |
| 1:21.1 | I don't want to pivot too quickly to what we're actually going to talk about in our guests. |
| 1:24.2 | But I will say when I hosted with Kelsey, when you were doing the |
| 1:27.7 | grand tour of the Northeastern liberal arts scene with your family, she and I were both really |
| 1:34.3 | kind of bullish and kind of, you know, talking about how much fun we were having now that baseball |
| 1:38.5 | was back and we were feeling so much better. That was one week ago. And I am now back, like, it's basically the same mood that I had in February. Like, I've watched the Mets score one run in the last nine days. And at this point, it's just like, fuck me up. The sun could be going down at 4.25 p.m. again, for all I know. Yeah, but that's, that's on you. Isn't it? I mean, is it, though? I feel like it's more Mark Vietos. I feel like he deserves a lot of the responsibility. I think it's extremely on you, but baseball is back, and you know who else is back? Mike Schur, Michael sure is back on the podcast. And not only is Michael back on the podcast, but he has a new book. It's coming out in like three weeks. |
| 2:19.0 | It's called Big Fan. And he, before the podcast, he did tell us that it is, in fact, a novelization of the Patent Oswald film from a few years ago. |
| 2:27.9 | So congratulations on getting that gig. I told you the opposite of that. I told you it wasn't that. You must have misheard me. |
| 2:33.3 | Oh. I'm someone who did a fourth, I did a book report in fourth grade on the novelization of Robocop. |
... |
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