Welcome to Let It Be Easy with Susie Moore.

I had this quote from Tony Robbins years ago. Gosh, I must have been in my 20s, I think,

many, many years ago. And I thought it was so good. And I've been thinking about this more

and more lately. He said something like this along these lines. If you're going to blame people

for all the bad stuff, right? And I think he was speaking to people about parents at this time,

because I get it. Right. My family was very dysfunctional. It's very

easy to look to blame our parents or the government or society. It's very easy to blame things

outside of us when we don't have a life that we want. We don't have the things that we want.

We don't feel joy. We don't feel content. We don't feel

and secure. But Tony Robbins says something like, if you're going to blame people for all the bad

stuff, you better blame them for all the good stuff too. I think about that. Fairness cuts both

ways. And yet our egos will have us believe that the good stuff is down to our

amazingness, our specialness. It's right. All is good with the world when good things are

happening to us. Everything is in order. This is expected. And yes, I'm a good person, which is why good

things happen to me. And when bad things happen, it's your fault. It's your reason I'm like this. It's your, it's your fault

I'm like this. The reason that I get, that I am this way is because of X, Y, C. And this is not to

minimize traumatic experiences, right? I've had plenty of my own. It's about acknowledging that

we have to have responsibility for our own experience.

And just say, for example, I'm blaming my father.

I don't know, just say I'm blaming my father for the fact that I feel depressed.

Then when something wonderful happens in my life, am I like, oh, I also credit my dad for that?

Perhaps not if our relationship was strained.

...