It's an amazing thing. When we are hanging out and doing retreats,

you're going to often find the person very quickly who's like,

oh yeah, I don't belong here. I'm on the outside.

At the end of any of our week-long retreats, everybody knows they belong.

But people will come in with that sense of, oh, I don't belong, that you know is historic.

It has nothing to do with where they are today.

They will feel that feeling of not belonging, no matter where they are.

Which is weird when you think about it.

There's no way that any of us in today's world can't find a sense of belonging.

And yet, when you've defined yourself as an outsider, what you're doing is you're

finding that you don't belong in every situation that you go to. You might have a new family,

a wife that you married, and kids, and you feel like you don't belong there. Or maybe if you're

lucky, you feel like you belong in one place, but you don't belong in all these other places.

But what's actually happened there, the reason that we feel like we don't belong is because then we might not get hurt. When I was a kid, I think I was like 13 years old, I had a green Mohawk. I just didn't belong. I didn't belong in my family. I didn't belong in school. I didn't belong anywhere. And so I was out to prove it. I was going to annoy people to prove I didn't belong. I was going to look away to prove that I didn't belong. I was saying, will you love me if I do this? Will you love me if I do that? And that's one way to do it. The other way to do it is just to disappear. See, nobody sees me, I don't belong here. Nobody gets me, I don't belong here.

That's another way people do it is just to disappear. See, nobody sees me. I don't belong here. Nobody gets me. I don't belong here.

That's another way people do it. But all it is is just a training. We've just been trained

that you're not going to be accepted here. And then we turn that training into, I don't want to feel that pain again.

If I think I don't belong that I don't have to feel your rejection.

And not like rejection, oh, I'm not going to have a date with you

or I'm not going to do business with you,

but the rejection that you received when you were young,

which was basically who you are essentially

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