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Hello, bienvenito.

Welcome one and all to a brand spanking new episode, fresh out the oven, ready for you to feast on of the low-life podcast. I'm your flaming hot and spicy, seasonally depressed, white wine drinking, tucky finger licking, ice coffee sipping, infrared sauna, loving, hot mess of a host, Lorenzo von Rump.

And I'm so happy to be here with you today.

There is no place I'd rather be than right here in this moment with you right now.

I hope you're having a great day and a beautiful week and you're feeling good.

But if you're exhausted right now, if you're drained, if you're feeling stressed out, anxious, depressed, life is a roller coaster ride. And sometimes that roller coaster is going to be the

thrill of a lifetime. It's enjoyable. It's a great experience. Other times, that roller

coaster is going to make you feel like you're going to throw up, like you're going to vomit.

And so just get me off this damn thing.

And so I've definitely been on both roller coaster rides. I've thrown up plenty this year. And so I just hope you're feeling good right now. But if you're going through it, I get it. I've been there. But don't you worry, boo-boo. Don't you, friend. You have come to the right place. We're about to turn that frown upside down. We've got a great show in store for you today.

I know this episode is going to give you some laughs, some perspective, and leave you feeling good with a full heart and a smile on your face. This is a solo mission, but before we jump into this week's solo mission, cancer crab, little birthday episode, I want to know what your mental health score is this week. On a scale of one to 10, one is bottom of the barrel. 51.50, you're asked, you've never felt worse. Shitty

kiddie resort. 10 is euphoric bliss. You're on cloud nine. Peaches and cream. Life is a dream. Where are you on

that scale right now? One to 10. For me personally, I'm going to rate my

mental health a solid 8.6 out of 10. I'm feeling pretty damn good in the hood. I'm in a very

happy, healthy headspace, which is a great place to be, especially going into celebrating another

year of life. I know some people get depressed around their birthdays, but I'm actually really

looking forward to this one. Earlier this week, I had taken Shammu to the beach, which is my favorite place to go. I love being near the ocean. Give me water. Give me ocean. It gives me freaking life. And so anyway, I'm at the beach doing my thing. And some random dude came up to me and was talking to me. And I didn't realize until about like 15 or 20 minutes into our conversation that, oh, this guy is hitting on me because he ended up asking for

my number. I was like, oh, okay, wow, sure. But I just, I didn't really pick up on that energy

until he asked if I wanted to hang out and ask for my number. So I was like, oh, there's that.

Okay. You're freaking laying it on thick there, daddy. But anyway, it was a nice little confidence

boost. It's cute to be hit on, even if I wasn't super into this particular dude. But I was

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