Welcome. Welcome, one and all, to the late show, in here, out there, all around the world.

I'm your host, Stephen Colbert. Ladies and gentlemen, if you watch this show, if you watch

this show, and I suspect you are now, you know that I like wrestling with life's big

questions, like, why bad things happen to good people, or better still, why don't more

bad things happen to terrible people? People, people like Florida Governor and Bodybuilder,

Florida Governor and Bodybuilder who always keeps head day, Ron DeSantis, you'll recall that

Governor DeSantis tried to score some cheap political points in Florida by drugoning people

off the streets in Texas and smuggling the Massachusetts. Well, good news. We just found

out that a Texas sheriff is investigating DeSantis' role in flying migrants to Martha's

vineyard. Hell yeah! Get him! You can catch it all on the new TV show, Walker, Texas, Florida,

Martha's vineyard. Chuck Norris looks good in linen. The investigator in question is,

Bear County Sheriff and Character Cut from Peewee's Playhouse, Javier Salazar, Salazar is investigating

the case, which we call an abuse of human rights, even though he could not cite specific

laws that may have been broken. Yeah, but it's just like pornography. You know it when

you see it, and you don't want it to involve Ron DeSantis. What? The skips head day. That's

why. Is the skips head day. No? What? It ain't just DeSantis. This weekend, Texas Governor

Greg Abbott sent at least nine busloads to the Port Authority in New York City. Oh, no,

Governor Abbott. Now New Yorkers will have to deal with crowds of confused and sad people

at the Port Authority. What will we do? Oh, no. So you send some buses, okay? Two can

play that game, Texas. You send New York City immigrants. We're going to send Texas a

couple of busloads of Times Square tourists. Enjoy hundreds of people holding M&M's wandering

aimlessly in search of the bubblegum shrimp company. You know where else you can buy M&M's?

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