But what I noticed was, yeah, it was thoughts. It was the fact that I was actually binding

into thoughts. So I could actually slow my mind down one thought at a time and notice one thought.

I could see, oh, there's a thought right now that says, I'm confused. Whatever the thought is,

I would notice the thought. And by really focusing in on the thought itself, my mind was slowing down.

And then it was almost like there was a gap.

So the thoughts were getting different. They felt different. They felt less sticky. But what I really

noticed was there is a stickiness to thoughts. The stickiness is an avoidance of fear. Because when I

really stopped grabbing onto thoughts and I really stayed in that space of thoughtlessness,

which I realized I could. Then the fear came. And I wasn't used to feeling intense fear.

Like I didn't live in a fearful environment growing up. I didn't put myself in, you know,

situations where I was felt threatened. It just wasn't a common emotion. And it was super intense.

At the same time, because of the work I had just done with investigating the nature of thoughts and realizing I'm not those thoughts, I could actually see that even though the thoughts get scarier when my body's feeling the fear, I can let go of them in the same way. So I feel this intense fear. And the thoughts are like, I'm going to die. I'm going to go insane. If I keep going any farther, I'm going insane. And it was kind of laughable at that point. Like, I'm not going anywhere. I'm just

sitting here. My mind has been hijacking my attention my whole damn life with these fearful

thoughts. And they're not in true. It was such a revelation. I was like, oh my God. Then it became fun to just stay and stay in the fear until the fear even subsided. It became fun when I realized that I don't have to believe a single thought. When I realized that my whole life, I had had this ego, what I call it an ego, had a gun to my head. And it's like, you have to pay attention

to me. You better pay attention to me. You better think about this. You better. That's kind of what I was starting to realize, like, it was my rebellious nature coming through. I was like, what the hell? I've been kidnapped by this thought system my whole life. And I didn't even know it. It was literally holding me captive, I was starting to see, they're just thoughts.

Hello, this conversation is... It was literally holding me captive. I was starting to see, they're just thoughts.

Hello, this conversation is with Angelo Delulo, who is a doctor, an author, and a spiritual teacher who's been through a huge awakening shift.

I have enjoyed Angelo's YouTube videos for a long while now, as well as his book,

which is called Awake. And I love chatting to him. We talk about his radical shifts,

and they are radical. And we talk about the importance of shadow work and integrating emotional

material too. This is a deep episode on spiritual

awakening, which is one of my favourite subjects, and I hope that you enjoy it as much as I did.

...