Beyond the Comfort Zone: Unmasking True Feelings - A Dive into Anxiety's Root Causes (Part 2)

The Virtual Couch

Tony Overbay LMFT

Education, Mental Health, Health & Fitness, Self-improvement

5 • 643 Ratings

🗓️ 28 June 2023

⏱️ 52 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Today’s episode is part 2 of 2 on dealing with the concepts around discomfort and certainty. In episode 1, Tony broke down the importance of acknowledging and feeling our emotions without judgment, reminding us that this is key for our mental health. He emphasized the mindful experience of emotions and thoughts, steering clear of allowing them to call the shots in our decisions and actions. This time around, we're diving deep into the concept of rumination - that exhausting cycle of negative thinking that has us stuck in problem mode without actually problem-solving. Sound familiar? Tony also introduces the idea of signal anxiety, an early alert for the emotional danger that can trigger defense mechanisms like denial and displacement.Tony discusses the challenges of unmasking our true feelings rather than hiding behind our anxiety. He passionately proposes a more authentic, purpose-driven life to alleviate the symptoms that may arise when we sidestep our emotional needs. He then unpacks the defense mechanisms of displacement and projection, commonly used to manage those uncomfortable feelings we all know too well. Remember Lucy, the marketing manager we mentioned last time? Tony illustrates how her work stress bled into her personal life, causing strain and highlighting the issue of displacement. He advises us to recognize such problems and seek help to tackle the root cause, suggesting mentor support, therapy, and self-care as effective strategies. Then he delves into projection, offering up examples from the workplace and even touching on narcissistic projection, common in individuals who grapple with self-reflection and fear abandonment. Lastly, Tony talks about the book "On Being Certain," shedding light on the neuroscience behind our feelings of certainty and the stubbornness they can sometimes breed. Trust us, you won't want to miss this!Use coupon code CRAIG to receive $100 off The Path Back for a limited time. You can sign up directly here https://www.thepathback.org/offers/zF7ogLZZ?coupon_code=CRAIG (https://www.thepathback.org/offers/zF7ogLZZ?coupon_code=CRAIG)Use the following code to purchase the 2023 Sex Summit for only $35 featuring Tony's presentation: Relationship Tools You Don't Know You Need - Tips and Tools Born From 15 Years of Practice w/1500 Couples. https://thedatingdivas.myshopify.com/discount/TONY23?redirect=%2Fproducts%2Fsex-seminar-2023 (https://thedatingdivas.myshopify.com/discount/TONY23?redirect=%2Fproducts%2Fsex-seminar-2023)Or use the following code to purchase 2020, 2021, 2023, and 2024 seminars for only $80: https://thedatingdivas.myshopify.com/discount/TONYBUNDLE23?redirect=%2Fproducts%2Fsex-seminar-2023-bundle (https://thedatingdivas.myshopify.com/discount/TONYBUNDLE23?redirect=%2Fproducts%2Fsex-seminar-2023-bundle)Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch (https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch)Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorder Course is Open! Visit https://praxiscet.com/virtualcouch Inside ACT for Anxiety Disorders; Dr. Michael Twohig will teach you the industry-standard treatment used by anxiety-treatment experts around the world. Through 6 modules of clear instruction and clinical demonstrations, you will learn how to create opportunities for clients to practice psychological flexibility in the presence of anxiety. After completing the course material, you'll have a new, highly effective anxiety treatment tool that can be used with every anxiety-related disorder,

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey, oh, oh, come on and take a seat on the virtual couch.
0:22.2	Hey, everybody.
0:24.9	Welcome to episode 383 of the virtual couch.
0:26.0	I'm your host, Tony Overbay.
0:31.3	I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist, certified mindful habit coach, writer, speaker, husband, father of four.
0:38.9	And host of waking up to narcissism, waking up to narcissism question and answer podcast and murder on the couch. A new episode is coming out soon. And when we last left in part one of this
0:45.8	concepts of what we do with uncertainty and discomfort, and in all of those wonderful concepts,
0:51.5	we want certainty so bad that we spend so much time and emotional energy
0:55.5	and calories trying to find certainty, trying to find a sense of control and order, which is,
1:03.0	I want to say it's not a bad thing, but we kind of talked about in part one. It can be a challenge.
1:06.9	It's a nice way to say. Maybe it can be a bad thing or a difficult thing.
1:16.9	But I threw in the transcript of the last episode into a pretty amazing product called Portfolio Pals.
1:17.9	It's an artificial intelligence program that then takes whatever article you have or transcript
1:24.0	and then throws a summary together.
1:25.9	What I think is really funny about it is it has a
1:27.6	comedy mode so you can do a summary that sounds very smart and intelligent then you can hit
1:31.8	comedy mode and it's a stand-up comedian just spent hours in a writer's room tearing down your work so
1:38.2	just for fun let me do this so the here's the summary of the last episode part one says uh that Tony discussed the human brain's desire for certainty, how it can lead to discomfort and anxiety when things don't make sense.
1:51.1	Then this discomfort often leads to unhealthy coping mechanisms or rumination. Then we talked about one solution to dealing with uncertainty is practicing mindfulness to create new neuro pathways in the brain. And I shared a couple of examples where people remain calm and present in these
2:06.3	unexpected circumstances. And then we also highlighted the fallibility of human memory. And I referenced a
2:11.7	bunch of studies that show how memories can change over time and how they're influenced by
2:15.4	suggestion and misinformation. And then that led to the
	...

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