Beyond the Body Count: Reframing Sexual History in Dating

Sex With Emily

Health & Fitness, Sexuality

4.2 • 6.7K Ratings

🗓️ 6 May 2025

⏱️ 42 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

This week on Sex With Emily, we're tackling one of the most harmful and outdated questions in modern dating: "What's your body count?" In conversation with holistic psychologist and trauma expert Dr. Scott Lyons, we explore the troubling origins of this term, once used to count military casualties, and how it’s been repurposed to judge sexual history, often unfairly targeting women. We unpack the double standards rooted in purity culture, the insecurities this question provokes, and the shame it can breed in both high and low numbers. More importantly, we discuss why the number of sexual partners has nothing to do with sexual skill, emotional readiness, or compatibility. #intimacy #love #relationships Timestamps: 00:00:00 - Body Count: A Sex-Positive Discussion 00:03:00 - Judging Past Relationships 05:51 - Body Count & Insecurities 08:24 - Why Judging is Wrong 10:46:38 - Historical Shame Roots 13:22 - Societal Shame & Body Count 15:47 - Regrets & Sexual Experiences 18:13 - Reframing the Conversation 22:44:04 - Ditching the Question 25:38 - Addressing Relationship Insecurities 37:53 - Pleasure, Goodbyes & Outro If you’re 21+, try VIIA! For 15% off AND a free gift with your first order go to ⁠https://viia.co/EMILY⁠ and use code EMILY! #viiapartner Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. Join the SmartSX Membership : ⁠⁠https://sexwithemily.com/smartsx ⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides. List & Other Sex With Emily Guides:⁠⁠ https://sexwithemily.com/guides/ ⁠⁠ SHOP WITH EMILY!: ⁠⁠https://bit.ly/3rNSNcZ ⁠⁠ (free shipping on orders over $99)Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website: ⁠⁠https://sexwithemily.com/⁠⁠ Let’s get social: Instagram ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/sexwithemily/⁠⁠ X ⁠⁠https://twitter.com/sexwithemily⁠⁠ Facebook ⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/sexwithemily⁠⁠ TikTok ⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@sexwithemily ⁠⁠ Threads ⁠⁠https://www.threads.net/@sexwithemily ⁠⁠ Let’s text: Sign up here ⁠⁠https://sexwithemily.com/text ⁠ Full show notes: ⁠

Transcript

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0:00.0	You know I'm all about tools that help you feel more confident and connected in the bedroom.
0:04.0	So if finishing too soon as something that ever crossed your mind are your partners,
0:08.0	let's talk about Popstar delay spray. Dr. Scott Lyons, have you used it?
0:13.0	One of the things that often happens during sex is you're concerned, will I last?
0:18.0	How much longer will I last? And you're so focused on that, you're not with your partner having good sex.
0:23.6	And if you have a little bit of delay spray, knowing that it will last a little bit longer,
0:28.6	you can invest more deeply in the intimacy you're having that it's so much better.
0:33.6	This is what I love because there's a lot of delay sprays out there.
0:36.6	But Popstar Lay Spray is a full line of performance boosting products from Popstar Labs created by our friend,
0:41.3	urologist Dr. Joshua Gonzalez, and he's literally devoted his career to helping people
0:46.3	have better sex.
0:47.3	Yeah.
0:48.3	So you're off-or delay spray.
0:49.3	I'm off-or-or-dlay spray.
0:50.3	I don't want anyone to worry if it's anything that's going to help them last longer and feel good.
0:56.6	So you can focus on my body and not your own in the moment.
0:57.4	That feels great.
0:58.7	I mean, I want you to feel pleasure too.
1:00.6	But what I love is it doesn't take away the pleasure.
1:01.8	So try it out.
1:04.8	Everyone deserves to feel good and last as long as they want. Just head to popstarlabs.com slash Emily and use code Emily for 20% off. That's POP Star Labs.com slash Emily, code Emily for 20% off.
1:15.2	Let's talk about something we all deserve, more pleasure, more connection, and honestly just more
	...

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