Hello, hello, hello. This is a Between the Sessions mini-sird. In this series, I'm revisiting some of the most

popular posts from the 20-year baggage reclaim archive. It's all about sharing timeless lessons on love,

care, trust and respect, and recognizing when you're in unavailable or shady territory. Today's

share is Farm 2014, and it's called,

we can't keep trying to recapture the beginning of a relationship. We've got the

present to live in. I wrote this back in 2014 because, oh my gosh, I would talk to so

many people who were fixated on what happened to that great person from the

beginning, where did they go? And they were always reliving that and going back again. And it didn't

matter if it was months, years, or decades down the road. It was like, but what about the beginning?

What about the beginning? And of course, what we need to do is be able to move on from that,

because people and relationships unfold. So let's dive into it.

Some of our strongest ties to even the flimsiest of relationships are based on what we experienced

or even hoped for in the beginning.

When we're living in the past because the present has too many code-read realities biting at us,

we end up spending a great deal of our time trying to recapture the feelings we experienced at the beginning.

Or we try to recapture the person we believed or assumed them to be. Sometimes we're even

trying to recapture what we thought was our best self in those moments. It's for these very

reasons that we may find it hard to recover from a relationship that didn't even happen. We struggled

to get over the loss of our hopes and expectations.

We like how we felt and acted at the beginning of the relationship, and we want to make that

happen all the time. Yes, even if the reality of the present doesn't lend itself to this.

This means we can actually spend an overwhelmingly disproportionate amount of the

...