Betrayal in Marriage

The Allender Center Podcast

The Allender Center

Psychology, Religion & Spirituality, Mental Health, Christianity, Trauma, Health & Fitness, Theology

4.6 • 628 Ratings

🗓️ 18 February 2023

⏱️ 46 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

We all have experienced betrayal in our relationships. We typically think of betrayal as an affair or deception, and some of us may be quick to say, “That doesn’t apply to my relationship.”

But what today’s conversation points out is that betrayal is actually anything that disconnects us from our partner and places something else above that person we love most. These moments of betrayal can lead to hurt, disappointment, shame, and a loss of trust.

How do we navigate those moments of betrayal when we feel so wounded? And, whether you’re the one who has perpetrated the harm or you’re the one who has been on the receiving end of that harm, how do we bravely enter into the spaces of shame to name the harm that’s been done and grow together as a couple?

Join Dan and Becky Allender of the Allender Center and Steve and Lisa Call of the Reconnect Institute as they talk about re-engaging with your spouse in those moments of betrayal to cultivate a new sense of trust and hope in your marriage.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Thank you for listening to the Allender Center podcast.
0:06.7	I'm Dr. Dan Allender.
0:08.7	And I'm Rachel Clinton-Centen.
0:10.5	We're fiercely committed to providing hope and healing to a fragmented world.
0:14.7	And restoration for the heart.
0:17.2	Thank you for joining us.
0:18.5	Let's get this conversation started.
0:30.2	Thank you for joining us. Let's get this conversation started. Well, as I've said before, talking about marriage, I'm really fond of you, Becky.
0:35.6	It's really good to be with you.
0:38.7	Wow. That's a great to be with you. Wow.
0:39.7	That's a great start.
0:42.2	Great to be sitting with you.
0:44.3	That's funny.
0:45.6	And to be able to open good and hard conversations with your friends and colleagues, Steve and Lisa Call from Reconnect Institute. Thank you for joining us
0:57.8	again. This will be a little bit more complex and more difficult. Let's just say it right
1:02.8	from the beginning because we've talked about attachment and what that brings. The reality is
1:09.2	sin breaks attachment. And as we talk about the reality that every
1:15.7	marriage, look, experiences some degree of disappointment, hurt, loss. But often, we don't use
1:23.2	the word betrayal, maybe because it's too big or because it's too dramatic, or we assume
1:29.6	that betrayal is only when there's an affair or where there's been clear deception,
1:37.9	ugly shaming of the other, or addictive processes.
1:43.6	Those are what I would call capital B betrayals big time, and we need to address that.
	...

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