Robin PR and W.B.E.Z. Chicago, this is what you wait, don't tell me the NPR news quiz.

I'm not going to settle it and spend time with you, it's just a courtesy visit.

I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host who's convinced that if he just walks around his

house in the other direction, he'll reach the West Indies.

Peter Segal.

Thank you, Bill.

It is the week of Columbus Day when we celebrate the fact that when the European showed up,

the people living here made the mistake of leaving the door unlocked.

If only they had simply safe home security, none of this would have happened.

As we reflect on whether or not just to give it all back to the original inhabitants and

see if they can do any better, we thought we'd demonstrate one of the few upsides of

American civilization.

Wait, wait, it's not my job segment.

I was really hoping we'd feature more limericks.

Sorry, Bill.

Now on this show, we like to inform and entertain and when necessary, defend the honor of bats.

The pandemic has been blamed on bats, so we decided to get someone on to speak in their

defense, biologist Dan Risken.

The first thing we need to know, why is he spending so much time with bats anyway?

Well, I really like them.

I did my PhD on vampire bats and I've studied bats all over the world and I'm kind of famous

for being the guy that put vampire bats on a treadmill.

...