We have to be prepared that when we have these outside the bedroom conversations, which is the majority of sex conversations, that our partner many times

are going to immediately go into like a panic fight-or-flight mode.

Because most of us are not used to people having conversations about sex with us that we assume when they do we've

done something wrong or inadequate so just be prepared for that.

You're listening to Sex with Emily.

I'm Dr Emily and I'm here to help you prioritize your pleasure and liberate the conversation around sex.

It's frustrating but true. Sex isn't a button that we can automatically turn on off. In fact, sex is a catch-all term

for arousal, body exploration, play, and erotic collaboration. Not simply PIV penetration or penis goes in vagina.

So what do you do when you want the sex, you need the sex, but your body isn't on board, or conversely when their body isn't

on board.

On today's show, we're taking a look at the body's response to sex and figuring out what

to do when it shuts down.

Say you've got a gab reflex around oral.

Does that mean no blow jobs?

Nah, I've got a trick for that.

How about vaginismous when the vulva clutches so tightly at penetration

that sex is super painful.

Well, I've got advice.

Finally, let's talk about your partners.

Is it kosher to use old toys? Finally, let's talk about your partners.

Is it kosher to use old toys with a new lover?

How do you even broach the subject?

...