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The Next Big Idea

Best Of: How To Connect With Anyone

The Next Big Idea

Next Big Idea Club

Education, Social Sciences, Science, Society & Culture

4.41.3K Ratings

🗓️ 12 March 2026

⏱️ 68 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

According to Merriam-Webster, the word "conversation" has 36 synonyms, ranging from the alliterative ("confabulation") to the arcane ("persiflage"). Why the linguistic profusion? Because conversing is a fundamental part — maybe the fundamental part — of being human. We chat with our families, friends, strangers, and co-workers, and we communicate in phone calls, text messages, emails, and (occasionally) postcards. When these tête-à-têtes go well, it is oddly thrilling; we become better versions of ourselves — warmer and wiser, funnier, and consistently insightful. Best of all, a good dialogue is a direct route to connection. "The bond of all companionship," wrote Oscar Wilde, "whether in marriage or in friendship, is conversation." But when a conversation goes poorly, when it stays on the surface ("what do you do for a living?") or devolves into a sputtering mess of misunderstanding ("you’re overreacting!"), we don’t feel the invigorating pulse of connection. What we feel, instead, is the emotional equivalent of a busy signal. So, this hour, we’re asking: How can we have better conversations? And to help answer that question, we’re joined by Charles Duhigg, a Pulitzer Prize–winning journalist and the bestselling author of "The Power of Habit" and now Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection. Charles, as you’ll hear, is something of supercommunicator himself — a lithe storyteller who is as well-versed in evolutionary biology as he is in the latest psychology — and after studying the art and science of communication for the last few years, he’s concluded that anyone can become a great conversationalist. You just have to master a few simple skills. Tune in to find out what they are. (This episode first aired in February 2024.) Watch The Next Big Idea on YouTube! You can find our episodes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Follow Rufus on ⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠, subscribe to our ⁠⁠⁠Substack⁠⁠⁠, or send us an email at ⁠podcast@nextbigideaclub.com⁠. We love getting fan mail. 🔗 Sponsored By: Bitdefender — Get 30% off your plan at ⁠bitdefender.com/idea⁠ Fabric — Join the thousands of parents who trust Fabric to help protect their family at ⁠meetfabric.com/nbi⁠ Factor — Head to ⁠⁠factormeals.com/idea50off⁠⁠ and use code idea50off to get 50% off your first box Granola — Get three months free at ⁠granola.ai/idea⁠ Shopify — Start your $1/month trial at ⁠⁠⁠⁠shopify.com/nbi⁠⁠⁠

Transcript

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0:00.0

I'm Rufus Griscom and this is the next big idea.

0:05.0

Today, unlocking the secret language of communication. There's a video I saw on YouTube recently.

0:31.0

It's a clip a few years old from James Corden's late-night show.

0:35.8

His guest is Oprah, and he's nervous to talk with her

0:40.2

for reasons you might not expect.

0:42.2

I don't know, my worry when I woke up this morning is I don't know if I

0:45.2

can make it through this interview without crying.

0:48.5

You will.

0:50.3

Because you seem to have an unbelievable gear.

0:52.5

Even now, I can feel myself cheering up.

0:55.5

When did you first realize you had this power just to make people cry?

0:59.5

Oprah says it started in the 70s, in Baltimore.

1:04.0

She'd been fired from her job anchoring the nightly news

1:06.5

and given one co-hosting a local talk show.

1:09.5

And that's where she discovered she had an uncanny ability to make people open up.

1:15.4

When she asked them questions, they came to life, revealing surprising, deeply personal

1:20.5

things about themselves.

1:22.1

When she was vulnerable with her guests, they were vulnerable with her.

1:25.7

Okay, go on.

1:26.3

Give me your best.

1:28.7

Unleash the power. Well, you need some time, you know. It's about having some time.

1:31.9

But let me just say for you, Charlotte,

...

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