Best of: How to Communicate With Your Family During the Holidays 6 | 50

Radical Candor: Communication at Work

Radical Candor

Business, Management, Careers

4.7 • 729 Ratings

🗓️ 25 December 2024

⏱️ 64 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Practicing Radical Candor with your family members this holiday season.

Holiday communication with your family can be rife with stress. And while you love your family, let’s be frank, family togetherness during the holidays often goes sideways. So much so that it’s become a trope that’s spawned dozens of holiday movies. But you can survive it by practicing Radical Candor with your nearest and dearest this holiday season to avoid defaulting to Obnoxious Aggression, Manipulative Insincerity or Ruinous Empathy.

Get all of the show notes at RadicalCandor.com/podcast.

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Chapters:

(00:00:00) Introduction
Kim, Jason, and Amy introduce the topic of navigating difficult family dynamics during the holidays.

(00:02:53) Radical Candor and the Holidays
The struggle with practicing Radical Candor with families during the holidays.

(00:04:36) Generational and Cultural Differences
How cultural and generational gaps complicate family communication.

(00:07:12) Family Role Expectations and Childhood Patterns
Reverting to childhood behaviors and role expectations during family visits.

(00:9:18) Taking the Bait: Avoiding Escalation
Strategies for turning down conversational "volume" and avoiding conflict bait.

(00:20:20) Overreacting to Advice
How understanding intent can improve family dynamics.

(00:24:37) Why Gifts Sometimes Backfire
The alternate perspectives on gifts dependant on the giver or receiver.

(00:27:42) Gifts Gone Wrong
Personal anecdotes of gift-giving mishaps and lessons learned.

(00:33:33) The Strain of Gift Giving
How gift giving can be especially hard in strained family dynamics.

(00:35:59) Setting Boundaries with Family
Asserting personal boundaries when saying yes takes its toll.

(00:39:22) Gifting with Intent
Releasing the obligation of the perfect gift for the giver and receiver.

(00:43:51) Radical Candor at Family Gatherings
Guidance on when to lean into Radical Candor and when to let things slide.

(00:50:12) Appreciating Moments Together
The finite nature of time with loved ones and making the most of family gatherings.

(00:54:51) Radical Candor Tips
Tips on setting boundaries, practicing care, and avoiding unnecessary conflict.

(01:00:01) Conclusion

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey, everyone, it's Amy, and we understand that being with family during the holidays can sometimes be
0:05.8	challenging due to our emotional history. Maybe we've got some unresolved conflicts, some new
0:11.7	conflicts, and maybe there's some cultural or generational differences in how we communicate with
0:17.7	each other. Sometimes we end up reverting back to our worst selves when we're
0:22.4	together for the holidays, even though we really don't want to. So today is December 25th,
0:28.3	2024. If you are in need of a pep talk, and if you're celebrating Christmas, Merry Christmas,
0:34.6	but for all of us, this episode, which we recorded last holiday season,
0:39.3	can help you use the Radical Candor Framework to navigate difficult family dynamics. Enjoy.
0:50.6	Hello, everybody. Welcome to the Radical Canter Podcast. I'm Kim Scott.
0:55.2	I'm Jason Rosoff.
0:56.3	And I'm Amy Sandler.
0:57.7	And many of you are likely spending time with your families this holiday season.
1:04.4	Loved ones, family, friends.
1:06.6	Today we're focusing more about family time.
1:10.5	And, well, we know that you love your family.
1:14.0	Let's be frank, dare I say candid, family togetherness during the holidays can be rife with stress.
1:21.1	Some have described it as death by a thousand paper cuts.
1:25.3	That was Kim Scott in case you didn't know.
1:28.5	So much so, it's actually become a trope spawning dozens of holiday movies.
1:32.6	Of course, my favorite quote about this comes from the spiritual leader, Ram Dass,
1:37.1	who once said, quote, if you think you're enlightened, spend a week with your family.
1:43.0	And so that's why we're dedicating this podcast to practicing the principles of radical candor with your family. This is really, we talk about radical candor 2.0, radical candor 3. This is PhD level radical candor. Our goal is to help you, if not practice radical candor, maybe move away from defaulting
	...

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