Last week I read this Relka quote which is very simply for one human being to love

another that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks. So some of you are here

for that talk and as I mentioned I want to keep on elaborating because it's

very humbling I think to most of us how much we want to love well you know we

have this sense of this matters and how we know that our insecurities and the

patterns that we play out and our preoccupations get in the way. So we kind of know

that and I've shared a number of times that in being with the dying one

palliative caregiver described our our biggest regret as not being true to

ourselves and that that's something that you don't have to be dying to feel

that sense of not always living true to what most matters and one of the

things that most matters is being able to show up and bring presence and

kindness and forgiveness and understanding in our relationships to others and

to ourselves and we know that there's a bit of a gap. So last class and if you

missed it you can get it we have podcast for it. Described how in order to

arrive in that lovingness in that presence we need to stop fixating our

attention outward specifically outward in blame because blame's one of those

universals we very quickly can go into judgment and in some way create

separation with our judgment and then the other way we fixate is sensing that to

be whole to be happy I need you or I need you in a certain way so it's either

grasping on or pushing away and that instead of those we really need to be able

to come into our own being and since we're underneath that there's a feeling of

woundedness or fear and bring some healing attention there because if we fixate

...