Welcome back my ladies. If part one had you questioning everything you knew and thought about your girl group, about the person that you trust, about the person you go and grab coffee with, then part two is where we rip the veil right off. Now last time we asked why women, even the strongest amongst us, can miss the signs when a so-called friend or mum or sister or someone in your work group is sabotaging you from the dam inside. Now today we're diving into head first, the big freaking stuff. What you do when the betrayal is so damn obvious and the whole room is gaslighting you and no one realises it. Well in this round, Dr. Peter Salerno and I get brutally honest about how narcissists and psychopaths hijack your friend group, make you doubt your own reality and set off those cult level loyalty tests. Guys, this is Fricking CD and it's something we all have to know. Then we go into the dirty damn tactics, the smear campaigns that, oh, I've forgotten to invite you type strategies and the subtle ways that your confidence gets stripped to the damn bone anytime you're with this friend. And then of course we go into the no damn BS road map for taking your damn truth back, setting boundaries and making sure that you hold onto your damn dignity. Even if someone around you has bought into the lie. If you're tired of wondering is it just you, if you're secretly feeling isolated and you look around and no one seems to feel the same, or if you just wanna make sure that you don't ever lose your confidence by accidentally inviting into your girl group or into your life a toxic female, then we're about to unlock the damn handcuffs right now right here on women of impact. This one hit me, oh my god. I think everyone is gonna feel this social exclusion engineering,, where it's like, oh I'm so sorry, I just forgot to invite you. No, you know, who forgets that stuff, right? No, that's covert aggression. That's what a covert aggressor does. That the not invitation, often times gets framed as passive aggression. It's a very premeditated, active form of aggression.

It's just concealed because of the plausible deniability. I forgot. Can't remember everything. You know what a stressful week I've had. Oh, yes. How are you supposed to respond to that? Because again, I'd be like, oh my god, okay, if I was a good friend, I would be very empathetic about, well, how long have I know they had the hard day at work.

Oh, totally!

I get in my worries!

And now I feel shitty about myself.

Well... very empathetic about what all the ways they have. I know they had the hard day at work. Oh, totally.

I get in my worries.

And now I feel shitty about myself.

Yeah. Well, you typically don't feel shitty about yourself when someone is making you feel safe. Oh, that's good. You know, you got to wonder, okay, why do I feel shitty about this? If it was an honest mistake, I shouldn't feel shitty. I would give them the benefit of the doubt.

That could happen, right?

We could forget.

But what if it's, let's say, for instance, as I'm just going to be honest, when I was

very, I was very insecure.

Like... mistake, I shouldn't feel shitty, I would give them the benefit of the doubt. That could happen, right? We could forget.

But what if it's, let's say, for instance, as, like, I'm just going to be honest, when

I was very, I was very insecure, like, if a friend didn't like me, I thought it meant

everything about me. Sure. So sometimes in this situation, how do you know if it's just not an insecurity or wound of yours? You've got to look for the pattern converging, meaning you've got to look to see in this

relationship context, how many times do I feel this way?

And if it's not happening in other contexts, if it's exclusive to this context, it might be something that's specific to this relationship dynamic. Oh, right. Because if it's coming out everywhere, yes, I'm sorry, but you might need to talk to someone about that. It's only happening in one relationship. You should be questioning why only in that dynamic do I feel this way, you know. I feel like you're a bit of my therapist today. Everything you're saying a lot is like re-hitting me because you're so why it's, I hardly ever have that feeling with my girlfriend except for one person. Oh, well there you go. Huh? Yeah, so pay attention to that. And you ask what to do with it. You don't immediately write them off. You just note it. You collect the data and then you base the new data from that event, not from the, when everything was peachy and wonderful and together. Because now you have new information. You have to update. Yes. Cognitive dissonance doesn't allow you to update beliefs and update evidence because Narcissist thrive when you're in a state of uncertainty or ambiguity. So if you're going back and forth Is it means at them? Did I get this right? That's the sweet spot for a narcissistic relationship is you to be uncertain? Yeah, and I often I think a lot of women will revert to the means of that initial feeling So So it's like that, whether it's a friendship or a relationship,

that love bombing phase, but they were like, I remember when they said I was their best friend. I remember when they showed up for me that one time I needed them. They were doing that with all the other people in the group too, winning favor behind your back. Everyone felt like the favorite. Everyone had a secret. No one else knew. Everyone knew something about them that was coveted information that made them second-in-command.

It's sad.

What? everyone had a secret, no one else knew, everyone knew something about them that was coveted information that made them second in command. It's sad. What about, now you really are my therapist, when you see it, you see it's like so clear as that it's happened multiple times, you see that they're very toxic and then another one of your friends loves them. I'm not a gossiper. I don't like talking bad about people behind their backs. I will always tell someone to their face if they've offended me, if I've got an issue with them. I'm very high on communication. The one thing I don't like to do though is gossip behind someone's back or say something negative. So it's a bit difficult when you see someone for their true colors and someone else that you really love and care about doesn't see them for their true colors. Where's your responsibility in that when dynamic to either stay quiet or speak up. So far, Peter, I'm going to be honest, I've stayed quiet. Yeah, you might be better off. Yeah, you might be better off because you never know what the reaction is going to be and to be honest, like you giving them the information doesn't resolve their dissonance. It just doesn't. Oh, you're right. So like you're hoping that the information will settle something for them. It actually unsettles them. A lot of people have a different opinion of this. They say, well, you're just letting them be victims of this. Why? Well, no. I mean. I mean, if they want to talk to you, you're open.

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