Welcome back, Mahalmi. This is part two of another powerful freaking conversation with a relationship expert who's helped millions and keep showing up, dropping gems off the gems for the ladies trying to date successfully out there. Now, if you find yourself struggling to distinguish genuine interests from mere tactics of manipulation, then this episode is for you. Guys, whether you've been posted, if you're super confused by mixed signals or happen to be stuck in that first trap, He calls it.

So far it's going to guide you out of these dating dilemmas into a relationship that actually allows you to thrive. And that's why you're here guys, right? In order to build your self-esteem, you're confident so that you don't allow yourself to be taken advantage of any more or actually misled in any way, shape or form. So part two with Stephane Speaks or Women of Impact starts right freaking now. Yeah, it reminds me of you were telling in an interview I heard you say a story about how one guy had six girlfriends and then girlfriend number seven. Yeah, if you don't even win. And so basically he had his six girlfriends

won for every day of the week. And they wouldn't you about each other? They all knew about each other. But the one day seven girl was the, she was the one the one. And with her, he didn't have sex. So he had sex with all the six, but not her. She kept her away from all the other ones. because he did not want to risk them interfering

with her perception of him and her chances

of being able to be with her. And I didn't hear about this through the guy. I heard about this through one of the day six girls, alright, because she was trying to become number one. And I was explaining to her because she was like, well, what can I do sexually? This was her actual question to make him pick me because I'm the best looking and I'm the youngest one of the group. And I was like, listen, he doesn't respect you in that way. He'll sleep with you, you know, but he's not viewing you as something that he wants to be with. And then that's when she revealed to me all the other parts of the dynamic they have in place. And I was like, there you go. Like, it finally snapped for her once I said that, And she saw it, wait a minute, yeah, he does have this one woman, he doesn't even have sex with her. But he treats her like she's the queen of the whole crew. So, you know, again, men put women in a different box and there's the sleep with you box and then there's the potential wife box. Now I always say, it's very easy to go from potential wife to another woman I'll sleep with, but very difficult to go from a woman I'll sleep with to a potential wife.

It is very frustrating as a woman for that that's true by the way. Yeah, I understand. We, you know, we won't go down the whole level of double standards. Like that's the perfect difference. Next time you're here, we'll talk about that. But again, like, just you laying out like this, whether we like it or not, this is just exactly how men think. I just really appreciate it because then it allows us to know how we

want to maneuver. Exactly. And if we don't care, then amazing. Like I'm such an advocate of support women on their decisions. Yes. But knowing at least how they think gives me the power to then take my actions and think about them. Even if I don't like the results, the results may still occur. Absolutely. All right, next one. I don't want to ruin our friendship. One, that sounds like he friends-owned her, okay? And I hate saying this because only because I know it's gonna hurt some feelings, but again, it has to be said. One of the number one, if not number one reason why a man friend zones a woman is lack of attraction. Plain is simple. He may love her character, love her as a person, holds her in great regard, but he is not sexually attracted to her in order to want to cross that line. Because if he was sexually attracted attracted to her and he already has you as his friend that he values, chances are he's gonna try to be with you. Chances are, I won't say there aren't some minor, some small situations where he may be afraid to cross that line. So a big reason why women don't cross that line with their afraid tools because is because the mentality is I don't want to end up losing my friend and my lover because again for a lot of women they view relationships almost like this inevitable disaster waiting to happen all right and I'm just trying to do the later disaster as long as possible and so some men have been traumatized to the point where they may have that same perception. And they may feel like peeping her as my friend is safe. But I think more so when they view it that way, it's because they feel like they're not ready to fully honor their relationship. So basically, okay, I have this friend, lover the deaf, and let's say I am attracted to her, but I'm not done being a hoe. I'm not done running these streets. And because I respect and value her so much, the last thing I wanna do is cross this line with her when I know I cannot honor her in being committed and being monogamous to her. So that is one reason why he might say, I don't wanna ruin the friendship, but I do think a bigger reason is because

it's simply a matter of there's no attraction there.

I've had stories and again, women won't like it, but you gotta hear it. I have one client who said to me, because I mentioned that to her a lot of guys when they friends on the woman's cause of attraction. And she said, you know what's crazy? I have this guy I've been friends with for years. We love each other.

And one day he said to me,

if you would just lose 30 pounds,

you would be perfect.

Okay?

And of course, she was hurt by that. And she was offended by it. But it speaks to the reality of that, that's the disconnect. And we don't like hearing it once there's an actual love and bond between two people. But let's face it, the reason why people don't entertain someone is typically lack of attraction. The number one reason, when you ask someone, why aren't you with your friend? What is the number one thing they say? I'm not attracted to them like that. That's it. And so we then become so attached to our perception of self. And I say that to say this,

this is kind of going left, but I feel like it needs to be said. So for that woman being told, if you would just lose 30 pounds, right? Rather than viewing that as, well, then if I just address this issue or this thing that I have going on, this extra weight, I could have this relationship that I want. It was, oh, he doesn't love me for me. But in like, no, he loves you for you,

but being in a romantic relationship that I want. It was, oh, he doesn't love me for me. But in like, no, he loves you for you. But being in a romantic relationship with you requires attraction. And so some people don't like this comparison, but it's almost like if you had a male friend, love them to death. And let's say you are attracted to them, but they are super broke. And not only are they super broke, they're still in their lazy face, hopefully it's just

a face, but they're still lazy and not doing anything about it.

No matter how much you love him, you don't want to be in a relationship with him.

And some may still give it a try, but it would not be wise to do so.

But that would be a deterring factor from being with him because he doesn't have his stuff

together or at least he doesn't have the foundation of working towards getting his stuff together. Does it mean you don't value him or love him? No, but we have to understand there are other things that are required to have a romantic relationship with each other. And rather than take it as like an attack on us, or because even with him, you're saying,

well, I don't wanna be with you.

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