Beach Cops Episode 220: Diet Coke Wishes
Slop Quest
All Things Comedy
4.9 • 1.2K Ratings
🗓️ 13 November 2023
⏱️ 55 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
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Someone leaves season’s greetings in the toilet at ATC for O’Neill. Then, Danish finds a Diet Coke in the other bathroom, causing them to imagine a situation where a billionaire grants wishes to whoever drinks the toilet soda. Ryan pitches a traveling van of risque circus performers. Andy wears orthopedic flip flops, but no one believes him. Ryan then tries to get Andy to hang out with a chimpanzee, but Andy doesn’t want to deal with the diaper. Ryan then goes on a rant about some kind of mysterious softball powers.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | The name You turn me down on the middle, on the middle. I'm going to |
| 0:35.0 | a h heh cups h ich cups Happy dukee-ke-season |
| 0:45.0 | is a dukee season again already. |
| 0:50.1 | By now when this comes out, will dukee season be over? |
| 0:53.0 | Probably, but there was, I got full dukee season when I went to use the bathroom. |
| 0:58.0 | Oh, season's greetings. |
| 1:00.0 | What is that? What is that? |
| 1:04.0 | It's dukee season. |
| 1:05.0 | Literally, that's what's his name? |
| 1:07.0 | The fucking, Vincent Price. |
| 1:09.0 | Yes, thank you. |
| 1:10.0 | Oh, yeah, yeah. |
| 1:11.0 | I knew I was literally going to point there and I was like, he knows. |
| 1:13.0 | Skids and turds are everywhere. |
| 1:16.0 | Well, when I opened the toilet, that's the sound that I got because there were |
| 1:21.0 | fartefacts as I call them left in the toilet. |
| 1:24.0 | Again, ATC, it's got a real problem around here. |
| 1:27.8 | The bathroom I used had a Diet Coke on top of the toilet paper dispenser. |
| 1:33.1 | Well, do you, hey, that's a commutal diet Coke. |
| 1:35.4 | Everybody take a sip. |
| 1:36.4 | Aaron, do you drink diet Coke? |
| 1:38.6 | Well, you take a shit. |
... |
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