This is Chris Taylor with this week's sex chat quickie. Today's Quickey is for wives who are

struggling to be fully present during sex. I'm not talking about completely dissociating from the

experience as you might if you experience sexual abuse. This is for the women who use sex as a

time to, you know, make their mental

to-do list or their grocery list. During the years when I was avoiding sex, I wasn't just avoiding

having sex. I was also avoiding sex while I was having sex. My body would be there, but my mind

was anywhere but the bedroom. I was the grocery list maker during sex.

As I began to make some changes, one of my goals was to learn to be present during sex, fully

present, with both my mind and body engaged in the experience. So here are four tips to help you

be more present during sex. Number one, be mentally prepared with God's truths about sex.

Remind yourself, sex is a gift from God. He blesses the activity. God tells us to enjoy life.

Sex will help you and your husband feel more connected to each other. When a stray thought enters your

head, like, oh my gosh, I have to go to the

grocery store when we're done, push it away just by remembering one of those truths.

Number two, use your senses. What do you feel here or taste, etc.? Be intentional about inhaling the

sense of sex or looking at your husband's body. Talk out loud

about what you are experiencing or enjoying. Number three, seek and prolong the things you enjoy

about sex. If you enjoy kissing, then make a point to kiss your husband. Ask him to do at least one sexual thing to you or for

you, even if all you're doing is moving his hand just a little bit to the right. Number four, set aside

negative emotions. If you feel frustrated or guilty about having sex when you have a list of chores to do,

tell yourself that you can deal with

those feelings later. But for now, you're going to fully show up for sex. So there you go. Four

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