Bazinga On A Jazzy Scooter

Bloodline Banter

2M Media Group

Society & Culture, Comedy

5.0 • 657 Ratings

🗓️ 12 March 2026

⏱️ 40 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

This week on Bloodline Banter, it’s the recap you all have been waiting for… the seven-day cruise has concluded (much to our dismay) and boy, do we have some stories for y’all. We talk buffet strategy, the 33,000 eggs the ship went through in one week, and why calories do not count in international waters. Landon explains why he would absolutely clock a grandma to get to a lifeboat if things went south, Riley discusses his close personal relationship with chicken tenders and honey mustard, and we debate whether cruises are actually about the ports or just about eating every two hours. Which we think y’all know the answer to… As we recount our glory days at sea we share stories from Cozumel taco trucks, an aggressively hands-on shot girl at Señor Frogs, and the mystery of Belize’s off-brand chicken tenders that tasted like they were blended before they were fried. We also of course could not forget the cruise characters including Debbie, “The Doctor,” Denise from Seize the Day Travel, and a scooter-driving trivia champion named Bazinga who may have been the highlight of the entire ship. Oh and also honestly Theresa Caputo might need to take a gander at our boat for some lingering spirits because Amy Bradley was not necessarily a cruise character we were looking to encounter. Cousin Counsel returns as well with some unhinged submissions that prove once again that the internet should probably come with a warning label. And for the record, we’d like to state for the 10000th time that we’re cousins. We feel like we shouldn’t have to keep explaining that at this point, but hey some of y’all are dumber than all get out. Submit all stories, questions, and shenanigans to be featured on Cousin Counsel to bloodlinebanter@thecastcollective.com If you’ve ever gone on vacation just to eat your body weight in buffet food, chased down a white van for tacos in Mexico, or believed chicken tenders are a universal safe food… this episode is for you. LETS GET SOCIAL: Bloodline Banter: Instagram - (https://www.instagram.com/bloodlinebanterofficial/) Tiktok - (https://www.tiktok.com/@bloodlinebanterofficial/) Snapchat - (https://www.snapchat.com/@bloodlinebanter) Email - (bloodlinebanter@thecastcollective.com) Landon Mauk: Snapchat - (https://www.snapchat.com/@landonmauk) Instagram - (https://www.instagram.com/itslandonmauk/) Tiktok - (https://www.tiktok.com/@landon.mauk) Facebook - (https://www.facebook.com/landonmauk/) Riley Mitchell: Snapchat - (https://www.snapchat.com/@rileygmitchell3) Instagram - (https://www.instagram.com/realrileymitchell/) Tiktok - (https://www.tiktok.com/@rileygmitchell) Facebook - (https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61562003576933) Produced and Edited by: The Cast Collective (Nashville, TN) YouTube – (‪https://www.youtube.com/@TheCastCollective) Instagram – (https://www.instagram.com/TheCastCollective) TikTok – (https://www.tiktok.com/@castcollective)

Transcript

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0:00.0	I don't even eat enough for
0:02.8	I need a damn
0:17.1	Well everybody
0:19.8	Welcome back to Bloodline Banter.
0:21.5	I'm Landon.
0:22.3	And I'm Riley.
0:23.3	And we just returned back from our seven-day vacation.
0:26.5	It was eventful to say the least.
0:28.6	But before you think, oh, well, y'all didn't do very much.
0:33.7	Listen, I go on vacation to do the things that I can't do at home.
1:27.7	So before you think to yourself, Riley, you didn't hardly do anything. I slept in, okay? And I can't do that here. So I had fun. And I'm not getting up every morning with the Hardy's church crowd to walk around on the top deck and get sunburn. In fact, we did the very first day get sunburn. But that was the only day. It wasn't even that sunny outside. The wind was blowing. No, and we weren't even in the sun. Because we didn't even, we didn't get a, I ordered us some towel clips from Amazon. And we used them once. We laid out one time on a seven-day trip. I still got a son from the very first day. Yeah, I do too. My chest is peeling. My chest is peeling. My nipples are peeling. My nose is peeling. My face is peeling my neck. My everywhere. Yeah. I look like a reptilian. Let's talk about our favorite part of the boat, the ship.
1:28.4	Okay.
1:29.7	The food.
1:30.3	Okay.
1:33.0	We ate so much.
1:35.1	Oh, we're happy to report Riley. Did not gain 16 pounds this time.
1:37.2	I gained five, but then I took a really hefty Tennessee volunteer yesterday, and I'm happy to report.
1:46.3	It's gone.
1:47.4	I'm skinny again.
1:49.3	A really hefty Tennessee.
1:51.1	Yeah.
1:52.4	In other words, he took a hefty boot.
	...

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