Why is a duck in my podcast? I hear you say. Well, I need your help. We live in a water stressed area and this can affect our local environment, even in the winter. By making small everyday changes, you can save water and money of your bills. Try popping a tap jacket on your outside tap. This protects pipes from freezing, stopping leaks and tire water use. Find more tips at affinitywater.com.uk.

U.K. slash save our streams.

Affinity water, safe water, safe money, and help save our streams.

We observe today not a victory of party, but a celebration of freedom.

Across the UK, online and on DAB,

the Independent Republic of Mike Graham on talk radio.

The Human Zoo, where they don't hide away the sick animals.

Dangerous mid-morning debate with the great dictator.

The Independent Republic of Mike Graham.

You're time to attend to when I'm talking to you!

On talk radio.

Dismas!

Good morning and welcome to the Independent Republic of Mike Graham.

It is great to be back in the big chair after a brief sojourn

across the pond to jack on our American brothers and sisters. It seems that all hell has broken

loose back home in the meantime, though. Tory leadership candidates seem to be in a constant

whirlwind of trying to prove they're more interesting than one another. Michael Gove used to snort

cocaine, he says, Boris Johnson says he's turned it down at parties. Rory Stewart wants to be the next Forrest Gump of British politics.

Esther McVey is still fighting a 30-year-old feud, apparently, with Lorraine Kelly.

And Sajid Javid claims to be the new kid on the block, even though he's been home secretary,

and he's been in the cabinet for years and years and years. I can't actually remember who any of the others are, so maybe these five should be the new shortlist after the first round of voting today. We will bring you all of that,

of course, as it happens. 0344-491,000. The big story I want to kick off with, though, is

...