Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm Baylif Jesse Thorn. This week, baggage claims.

Ty file suit against her partner, Zach. Zach is obsessed with earning and using airline

points and miles. Ty also likes to travel, but she wants to give up the crazy schemes

and choose their vacation destinations in itineraries the normal way. Who's right? Who's

wrong? Only one man can decide. Please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom.

Boy oh boy, is it my pleasure to be here? And let me tell you why. First of all, I am a fan

of yours and congratulations on your 300th episode. But also, I would be lying if I didn't

tell you I'm very happy to be here because I realized that when you asked me and if I flew

here for a single night and then flew back home, it would put me over the top for platinum

angel status at maximumfund.org at the max fund drive. So I'm very happy to be here. Thank

you very much. Baylif Jesse swear to them in. Please rise and raise your right hands. Do you

swear to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God or whatever?

I do. I do. Do you swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling despite the fact that his

current medallion status consistently guarantees that he will be upgraded to a rigid airship?

Sure. I do. Very well, Judge Hodgman. Ty and Zach, you may be seated for an immediate

summary judgments in one of your favors. If either of you can name the cultural reference that I

paraphrased as I entered the courtroom, Zach, you've been drugged in here by Ty. So you have

the option to either guess first or make Ty guess first. I'll take a crack at it.

Probably something from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy because I didn't really finish it.

The alternative would be something from books. No, no, no, no, no, no, you made your guess.

You're a logical airtight, sir. Yeah. It's a reasonable guess because I usually do some background

research and figure out what books the litigants have not finished. And then pick something from the

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