Hey Deservant listeners, I thought I would answer patron emails today.

I have a lot of emails to get to, some good ones.

A Petir patron, she writes,

I feel very concerned for my 12 year old child.

I separated from his father eight years ago. My son has shown

extreme preoccupied attachment style. I am giving my son the safe place

attunement and all the love he wants. I also have been reading attachment theory for a few years and of course your 17 hour deep dive on Patreon.

Now the issue is my ex is an extreme avoidant attachment style and when our son is with his father every other week

he is having my son is having a hard time sleeping because he wants hugs and love but does not get it. I have been in many

fights for years with his father because he cannot see him as he wants. My son still

sleeps in my bed beside me. I I know and I hope that he stops

himself soon what can I do end of email yeah tough situation obviously family

therapy involving all three of you is the best course of action and that

might require some diplomatic convincing of your ex-husband. Individual therapy for your son and or for you. I have talked with a lot of

parents in your situation. They can't get their ex to go to therapy.

There's a lot of things you can do as a as a single parent to or as a parent to

help the situation individually in therapy.

And the other thing here is, as I always say, you have to develop a working relationship with your ex.

Now, it's been eight years since you separated.

So, and it sounds like you've been in a lot of fights,

and that the ship might have already sailed to some extent, but this is advice to everyone else that is listening.

If you're headed towards divorce and you have children together,

...