Bad Advice Christians Offer Emotional Abuse Victims [235]

Flying Free

Natalie Hoffman

Emotional, Narcissism, Christianity, Abuse, Religion & Spirituality, Spiritual, Christian, Self-improvement, Education, Divorce, Marriage

5 • 1K Ratings

🗓️ 8 August 2023

⏱️ 18 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

You’ve probably read countless books and articles about marriage, how to be a good Christian wife, but if you’re in an abusive marriage, I’m here to tell you that these reading materials probably don’t apply to you. Many of the authors writing them don’t have any knowledge regarding abuse in Christian marriages, so there are no caveats, exceptions, or words for those women who are struggling with an abusive spouse.

In today’s episode, I take apart an article on marriage that I recently read to prove my point that these articles really are not made for women who are dealing with an emotional abuser. The article may be applicable for a woman in a normal, run-of-the-mill Christian marriage, but for those of you who don’t find yourselves in a marriage like that, this article is probably not going to be for you. Let’s talk about why.

Key Points From This Episode:

How I would read the article through the eyes of a woman in a “normal” marriage.
A funny anecdote about socks on the floor.
How I would read the article through the eyes of a woman in an emotionally abusive marriage.
Satan’s main goal (and God’s main goal, too).
Books and resources that ARE for women in emotionally abusive marriages.

Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here

If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com

I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.

You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi, this is Natalie Hoffman of Flying Free Now.com and you're listening to the
0:09.3	Flying Free Podcast, a support resource for Women of Faith, looking for hope and healing from hidden
0:16.4	emotional and spiritual abuse.
0:21.1	Welcome to episode 235 of the Flying Free Podcast.
0:27.0	Today I want to talk about articles and books for Christian women that address marriage and how women who are in abuse of
0:36.8	marriages tend to read these kinds of resources and really end up digging
0:42.0	themselves into a deeper grave because of these resources.
0:47.0	And I'm going to show how this, or demonstrate how this happens by looking at one specific example. This is a specific article that came out on
0:57.5	Ann Voss Camp's website and the article was actually written by Jody Burnt and there's nothing wrong with the article in and of itself
1:06.5	if you are in an average normal Christian marriage for example I'm right now currently in a normal Christian marriage with a normal Christian guy,
1:14.6	and when I read this article from that lens, I understand what she's communicating.
1:19.2	She's recommending basic human respect in our marriages. The outline goes like this. One, believe
1:25.8	you will make it. Two, don't go to bed mad. Three, don't fight in public or
1:31.2	complain about your husband to your friends.
1:34.0	Four, be kind, and five, pray.
1:37.0	I mean, there's nothing super profound here.
1:40.0	It's just a few of the ABC basics of relationships, right? So when I read this article from my
1:46.0	perspective as a Christian woman in your normal, you know, run-of-the-mill
1:51.2	marriage, I mean I think my marriage is awesome but it's just an
1:54.2	average Christian marriage. I think oh that's a nice little article actually to be
1:59.0	honest I thought it was kind of Make it. My marriage is sweet, it's not a survival test. It's never crossed my mind in the last five and a half years of my life that my husband and I will not make it. But okay, thank you for the pep talk. Number two, don't go to bed mad.
2:29.2	Well, there's hardly anything to be mad about in my marriage but on the rare occasions that I have
	...

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