And guess what?

There might be an ending.

You'll never see coming.

Cut.

Dear Shandy.

Welcome back to another dear Shandy bachelor recap listeners.

Hello, Andy.

Hello. Hello.

Hello. How are you today? Eh? Eh? Really? Only eh? I'm eh. Oh, I feel pretty good. You feel good? Yeah. Why do you feel good? Because I thought that was kind of exciting. It was long, but I mean, it could have been worse. Why can I be unrelated to The Bachelor? Oh. You put me in my place.

Sure did.

Okay, you're just eh in general. Yeah. Do you want to talk about it? No, I feel eh. Okay. So speaking of eh, just before we got rolling, I took a sip of my coffee and spilled it on my boob. Yeah, Murphy's Law. Coffee is the ultimate Murphy's Law and ketchup too. Yes. Both of those things, you should never have the last sip or bite of each. I really should have held back. I was like, no, this one sip is going to make the difference. And instead, now we're talking about it. You should never have the last French fry and you should never have the last sip of coffee if you want to have clean clothes. But it wasn't even the last sip. It was like the second or third sip. That's always the last sip. What am I supposed to do? Anyway, we decided that I didn't need to dab it because what I'm wearing is sort of coffee colored. So we'll just see what happens as it drives. Yeah. I mean, that's as good a jumpsuit as you could spill coffee on.

Totally. Yeah. I don't feel too bad about it. I mean, that's like, that's basically, the only difference between that and the coffee you had is there's a little more milk in the coffee of your jumpsuit. To me, this jumpsuit has too much milk in it. Way too much. Yeah, in my opinion. Yeah.

Okay.

All right.

Shall we get going recapping this momentous finale?

Let's do it.

All right. Shall we get going recapping this momentous finale? Let's do it. All right. Okay, so there's a cold open of Joey very intensely crying. We've seen this previewed a lot. Normally we don't talk about cold opens here. But I don't know. Something about this made me feel a little sick. It felt like Truman Show.

You know, like when it hovers like a little too long. Like I understand tears here and there, but when it just stays there, I'm like, why am I watching this? What's wrong with me? You know why I didn't feel sick? I knew I knew it was a tease. I knew it wasn't real. I mean, the tears were real. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the content was misguided.

Yeah. I mean, that's always the theme in these. I don't know why they feel they need to do that.

I don't know. It's TV. Is it actually that dramatic? Jesse insists history is about to be made. What happens tonight has never happened. Grab those tissues. That's debatable. Okay, so now, Touloum. Lots of B-roll of Joey at

Secrets, Touloum. What happens at Toulm secrets? Well, apparently... I mean, that's suggesting that there are secrets at that place.

Yeah. And usually secrets, it's not like, oh, you know, Lisa said this about Jimmy. No. Secrets is like someone was killed there. Or it's like some sick sex stuff going on. Oh, I wasn't even thinking six sex stuff. I was thinking more like... Oh, you're going there to have sex with your mistress. Yeah. Yeah. You're not going on your honeymoon to secrets. Yeah, you're going to there to have sex with your mistress, then killer.

...