Awakening the Sex Talk Demons

Marriage and Martinis

Adam Silverstein

Unknown

4.8 • 1.4K Ratings

🗓️ 24 July 2023

⏱️ 78 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

It took two tries for Danielle and Adam to record this episode, because the first attempt ended in one of the worst arguments they've had in months. However, the second time, the conversation was one of the best and most honest talks about sex and intimacy on the podcast. However, this was after four hours of heated debate and fighting after Danielle opened up a "can of worms" that neither of them was expecting would result in such anger and frustrating on both their parts. In what Danielle claims was an "indicator of how fragile the male ego can be when it comes to feedback about sexual performance," the fight after the first (partial) recording brought up everything from Adam's famous statement in an episode back in 2018, "when I'm done, I'm done," the fact that men have never been taught to take women's pleasure seriously, that women are not strongly encouraged to take their own pleasure seriously (until later in life), and the truth about female pleasure is never truly researched and discussed by male partners. However, after clearing the air and finally calming down, they are able to have a truly productive and eye-opening discussion as to why their intimacy is better now than it ever was, and what secrets they can share about steps couples can take to become more compatible sexually and connect on a deeper, more passionate level. But first, they need to go back and acknowledge that their intimacy was definitely not always like that. Danielle and Adam both agree that this might be their favorite episode on the topic of sex they've ever done. Everyone should listen to this important, honest episode, no matter their relationship status.

The two also discuss:

Misconceptions about the clitoris and the female orgasm.
Why women are so quick to fake an orgasm, and the reasons men just believe it's real.
How girls really feel when making out with boys as teenagers.
What they want their own kids to understand about female pleasure.
Why men don't think to ask what they can do to better pleasure a woman.
Why it's important to have these conversations consistently, rather than all in one session.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey everybody, welcome to Maritra Martini's, I'm Adam, here's Daniel, hello, hello, how are you?
0:30.0	Hello, part two, not part two, round two, yeah, yeah, we basically got in the ring last night, so part of no round two makes sense, you want me to sure.
0:46.0	So we were planning to do an episode over the last few episodes we've done about moving and everything, we've done a lot of talk about all the sex we were having and how good it is and all that stuff.
0:58.0	Because, you know, I was stressed or just we've been connecting really well and everything and I've been getting so many messages saying, can you talk about after everything you've been through and your rocky relationship over the years, how you got to this point, I got like a lot of messages saying that.
1:18.0	So I was like, yeah, sure, you know, and in my mind, I'm thinking, okay, well, in order to talk about that, it's only useful if we talk about other stages of our relationship where things were different and also the disconnect I think that just oftentimes happens between in a heterosexual relationship, I can't speak for, you know, for homosexual relationships between men and women.
1:45.0	And so I guess when I started saying certain things, you thought I was sounding like a bitch.
1:54.0	I didn't say that, I never said.
1:57.0	Well, you looked at me, you stopped it, you stopped the recording and you're like, you are being so negative. And I was sort of like, wait, I'm not being negative, I'm telling the truth.
2:09.0	Well, it wasn't that, it was, I thought the direction of the episode was supposed to be about one thing.
2:14.0	It was just supposed to be how we were having great sex.
2:16.0	No, no, not at all, but it was about intimacy and sexuality and that. I didn't know it was going to the place that it went to.
2:24.0	I wasn't aware of that. And it came across to me as negative, whether it was or it wasn't, I guess, I just wasn't prepared.
2:34.0	And it hit me and I was feeling like attacked and I was feeling even though you kept saying, not you, society, not you.
2:45.0	Well, I said not just you.
2:47.0	Right. Right.
2:49.0	Big difference.
2:51.0	Yeah.
2:52.0	So I just wasn't like, I think I was caught off guard about I had no, I didn't even know where it was coming from.
3:00.0	And I was just like, I just wasn't ready for that.
3:05.0	Okay, well, I'm going to say two things. The first thing I'm going to say is, I am afraid in this episode of people are going to say, oh, she's a bitch or, you know, she's harping on things or all the stuff that people say when, you know, we're not you and I are just like, you know, stream line.
3:26.0	It's been a long, long great in an episode or it, it oftentimes, we're not oftentimes very seldom does it happen, but when it happens, it is Danielle's a bitch.
3:36.0	It's never Adams an asshole.
	...

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