There's a world where he's a little bit of a brat, and he caused this whole thing to begin with.

What?

There is a world, but I don't think it's this world.

I'm saying some kids aren't great.

Yeah, we're getting that.

Welcome back to Petty Crimes, the only true crime comedy podcast that exclusively investigates non-crimes.

Kira, unless my eyes are failing me, you're in the New York studio with somebody else.

I certainly am. We have a guest today, none other than John Marco Sarasi.

You've seen him do stand up on the late late show. Comedy Central, don't tell. Real Housewives of New York.

Netflix's verified stand-up. And he has a comedy special Thief of Joy, which is coming out on my birthday, September 19th, aka three days from when this

airs, so mark your calendars.

Amazing.

And it'll be on his YouTube channel, so you have to check out John Marco. I can say I've

seen you perform

stand-up a couple times live and a couple times online, and I am a super fan. That's very sweet.

Thank you. A super fan. You are beyond talented. That's very kind. And then just so we can set the tone

before we head into the crime. Yes. On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the absolute most, how petty would you consider yourself?

Oh, so petty.

So petty.

I got to go.

I mean, I'm sure there's so much worse.

I'd say a 6.

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