Hey, everybody. Welcome to our number one of the TBTL podcast. This is Luke. Sorry that

that intro was kind of creepy. I don't know where that came from. A dark, creepy place,

apparently. Well, let me tell you before we get started with the podcast that it's all

brought to you by AT&T. They are the official wireless sponsors of our show. They're the

official sponsor of the podcast. They are the reason that you get to hear all of this

occasionally creepy stuff, absolutely for free. And they're not just good people. They're

also fabulous providers. They've got more bars and more places, the most phones that work

in the most countries. They've got all kinds of great things going for them. In fact, I

hear from listeners all the time and they say, Luke, I don't like your podcast, but you

turned me on to AT&T and I will forever be grateful for that. You know, that's hurtful

when you say that to me in emails. And I appreciate that you like AT&T. I like them too,

but can we just keep the invective about TBTL at a minimum? I think that's fair. All right,

on that note, let's get started with our number one of the TBTL podcast. TBTL, awesome,

not awesome, and all the nonsense in between. Too beautiful to live. 973. Hyrule.

Yeah, it's just us and the Humvee up out of your freaky's ripper valve.

Wait, I put Moses in the basket. Yes, kitchen. We three kings be stealing the gold.

My dad. My friends all drive porches. I must make a man.

Just shut up, okay? Are you done singing? Is that clear? Yes, sir. Any other questions?

Yeah, it's true that to be special porches, you got to cut off an enemy's ear.

Are you able to control him? Barely. Thank God we've arrived at a Monday night edition of TBTL,

because this is a show that's probably too beautiful to live. You will never find the more

wretched, high scum and villainy. I'm your host, Luke Burbank. Very, very excited to be back

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