Please have a seat, everybody.

Thank you so much.

Down here, up there, out there, all around the world.

Welcome to the late show.

I'm your host, Stephen Colbert.

Ladies and gentlemen, we are less.

This is true, what is this?

This is Wednesday.

So we are less than two weeks from the most important midterms

this year.

And if there's one thing we know, it's that no one can tell you

what's going to happen.

Here's what's going to happen.

For the next 13 days, the news media is going to yank our chains

like they're trying to start a leaf blower.

Case in point.

At the beginning of the month, Democrats held a three-point

advantage on the generic congressional ballot.

Then suddenly, Republicans held a four-point advantage over

Democrats.

Now, today, polls say Democrats are up five points.

And if these polls, and if these polls

...