Attachment Styles Part 2: Overcoming Avoidant and Anxious Pasts and Tendencies: Episode 327
EmPowered Couples with The Freemans
Aaron & Jocelyn Freeman
5.0 • 589 Ratings
🗓️ 23 January 2024
⏱️ 33 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Are attachment styles fixed? This is the essence of all the questions and messages we received after last week's episode on attachment style, behaviors, and needs. This required a Part 2 episode this week where you will hear how to overcome your avoidant or anxious style pasts and tendencies.
Not only is attachment style not fixed, it's a range, and can be very situational. You may have created a secure relationship experience for both of you, but circumstances and your environment can have you fall back into insecure behaviors that remind you of your past. Today we share more of our own back stories of being anxious and avoidant, how those would creep back in over the years, and 5 ways to move yourselves back into that secure attachment experience you are used to operating in together!
Resources:
Join the "Prioritize Us" Couples Challenge starting Feb 1st, 2024 - the 30 day challenge for couples to simplify how to make positive changes in their marriage and prioritize loving actions and respectful communication.
P.S. - you also get the Family Meeting Guide as a bonus for start the Couples Challenge!
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hello and welcome to the Empowered Couples podcast. |
| 0:02.9 | We're here you get modern, non-boring relationship advice for you and your partner to communicate like pros, |
| 0:09.6 | fight smarter, and stay in the same team no matter the challenge that you face. |
| 0:13.7 | And I am one of your host, Aaron Freeman. |
| 0:15.4 | And I'm Jocelyn Freeman, but you all just know us as the Freemans. |
| 0:18.0 | And this episode is part two from last week, so get ready for |
| 0:21.1 | attachment styles, overcoming avoidant and anxious past and tendencies. So from last week's |
| 0:27.5 | episode, which we encourage you to listen to, because we did an overview of the different |
| 0:31.9 | attachment styles, needs, and behaviors, but we received so many follow-up questions, positive comments, and asking for us |
| 0:39.5 | to go even deeper into more of our personal story, because we shared with you a couple times |
| 0:44.6 | that we both came from, for me, anxious tendencies and an anxious style, you being more avoidant, |
| 0:51.1 | not far, far on the avoidance scale, but some avoidant tendencies. And we have |
| 0:56.6 | created a secure partnership. And so people wanted to hear more of our story. And we're going to |
| 1:02.1 | not only share that, but we also want to share some nuances to understanding attachment styles |
| 1:09.1 | in a way that's really practical and understanding that you can |
| 1:13.3 | evolve over time together. So I wanted to say, though, that attachment styles are not a diagnosis. |
| 1:21.2 | Okay, you're not just given this diagnosis from a doctor. You are avoidant attachment style. |
| 1:26.3 | Good luck because this is an incurable disease |
| 1:28.7 | that you will live with for the rest of your life. This is a framework in a language to |
| 1:35.2 | understand yourself more, but no one is stuck in a box, again, unless you just are inflexible |
| 1:41.5 | and unwilling to reflect, to evolve, to adapt. And you're going to hear us |
| 1:46.8 | talk more about adapting as we go through this. And to give you a real life example of how this shows |
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