Imagine you, you in a nice comfy seat with your hands behind your head, taking in the views,

instead of taking on the road, maybe even taking a nap. That's the bliss of getting where you

need to go without worrying about driving. Book your train journey via avantiwascoast.co.uk

and we'll take you there. Avantiwascoast, feel good travel.

Good day to you all. This is the arson van der Hocken's Christmas message. Merry Christmas.

That is all. Oh, one more thing. Shit, I've forgotten. I knew I should have written a script for this,

but no, you said it'll be fine. Just win it, you said. Now I look like a ride-con.

Anyway, Merry Christmas to you all. Apart from our slacker, the patty bastard.

Ha ha ha. Fuck off. Oh, I remember. I got a present for actually Cole. It's the buonic plague.

I think it'll suit him. What a little prick he is. He looked so sad at the end of the game on Sunday.

I was expecting Madonna to adopt him at any minute.

Season three, thanks to you all.

Hello and welcome to another ars blog ice cast on ars blog dot com.

In association, as always, with oleole.com, the football community website.

It is a festive ars cast. In the sense that it's sort of Christmas time, isn't it?

I still have loads of shopping to do. I haven't got loads. I've got to get something for my dad.

I haven't got a clue what to get him. I was going to get him a kind of a fleece thing.

Because he likes those when he plays golf and shit. So I said to my brother,

what are you going to get dad? And he said, I got him a fleece. I was going, you can't.

So then I said, I know what I'll get him. I shall get him some aftershave because every man needs

aftershave some smellies. And the monk smasher said, but I just got him a big load of that for his

birthday in October. And I said, you can't. So now I'm slightly flummoxed and a bit confused and

...