4.9 • 2.8K Ratings
🗓️ 9 December 2015
⏱️ 84 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
0:00.0 | Welcome to an improv for Humans Christmas Carol. Our story begins with Bessar, a squeezing, |
0:11.5 | wrenching, grasping, scraping, clutching, cover to salt sinner. Hard and sharp as flint, |
0:18.9 | from which no steel had ever struck out generous fire. Secret, and self-contained, and solace |
0:25.6 | cheers noister. The cold within him throws his old features, nipped his pointed nose, |
0:32.7 | shriveled his cheek, stiffened his gait, made his eyes red, his thin lips blue, and spoke |
0:40.2 | out shrewdly, with his grating voice. |
0:48.2 | God rest ye Mary, gentlemen, let nothing you dismay, remember Christ our Savior was born |
0:58.9 | on Christ's day to stable. What are you doing? I'm just getting ready, getting the |
1:06.3 | studio ready. Are you just singing a Christmas Carol? Yes. It's Christmas season. Well, |
1:14.6 | first off, it's not Christmas till tomorrow, okay? So it's not Christmas today, and I don't |
1:20.7 | know how many podcasts we've done together, but I think I've mentioned not only am I Jewish, |
1:25.0 | but I'm an atheist. You've heard that right? Yeah, I did that. So you're just going to sing |
1:30.2 | some Christian song as I'm walking in. Well, it's just a catchy song. I'm getting ready for |
1:36.6 | Christmas tomorrow. I'm going home. I wasn't singing Hanukkah songs and atheist songs the rest of the |
1:41.6 | year. You know what I mean? That's true. Sorry, man. I didn't mean to offend. I'm just kind of |
1:47.6 | excited. It is a little offensive. People don't think they can offend atheists, but you do by |
1:52.0 | forcing your holiday on us. And this is my show starting at 1 p.m. when we record, so. |
2:01.0 | I'm not trying to be a dick, just don't. Yeah, no, I did it. Do it on Scot show or the |
2:06.1 | Sklar Brothers, but they like it. I'm just saying I'll like it. Okay. All right, understood. |
2:13.1 | Okay, so what do we get up here first when doing the ad read? Yeah. |
2:18.0 | For the earwolf store. This is for the earwolf fucking store. Yeah. And they still don't have my |
2:23.6 | fucking t-shirts in. This is yet again. I'm plugging the earwolf store, but I go to it and all my |
... |
Please login to see the full transcript.
Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Matt Besser, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.
Generated transcripts are the property of Matt Besser and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.
Copyright © Tapesearch 2025.