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First Date with Lauren Compton

Ari Shaffir Talks Dating, Vasectomy & Bad Decisions | First Date with Lauren Compton

First Date with Lauren Compton

YMH Studios

Comedy Interviews, Sexuality, Comedy, Health & Fitness, Relationships, Society & Culture

4.7940 Ratings

🗓️ 12 May 2026

⏱️ 44 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

The End is here! Ari's new storytelling show is $5.99 per episode at https://theend.ymhstudios.com/ There's a total of 7 episodes for you to enjoy! SPONSORS: - Head to https://Chime.com/DATE. - Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/date On this episode of First Date, Lauren Compton sits down with Ari Shaffir for what might be the least helpful dating advice you’ll ever hear. They get into first date red flags, weird turn-offs, and why Ari operates like someone who’s never worried about a second date. From being chronically late to oversharing immediately, he pretty much lays out a blueprint for what not to do—while somehow making it work anyway. They also bounce through topics like only children vs. siblings, traveling the world solo, late-night energy shifts, and the kind of stories that start normal and end… not normal. Lauren tries to keep things on track. Ari does not help. First Date Ep. 150 https://www.tiktok.com/@iamlaurencompton https://www.instagram.com/firstdateshow https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:02:20 - Weed and Pregnancy Cravings 00:05:45 - Pregnant Lady Sex 00:15:29 - Only Children VS Siblings 00:18:36 - The Newest Skank 00:20:13 - Ari's Trip Around The World 00:24:05 - Ari Is Always Late 00:26:57 - The Time A Lady Wow'd Ari 00:30:07 - Ari Learns About Breastfeeding 00:31:28 - The End 00:33:04 - The Witching Hour 00:41:36 - Ari's Vasectomy 00:43:18 - Boning At A Club Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

I'm so excited to see you tonight.

0:06.0

First date, baby.

0:10.0

First date. I can't wait.

0:14.0

First date.

0:18.0

What is up, you guys?

0:19.0

Welcome to another episode of First Date. My guest today is a fabulous stand-up comic who has a new storytelling show coming out. I guess it's not new. It's called The End. It's out. It's out now. And it's the end. And it is the end. And it's at YMH Studios.com. Give it up for Ari Shafir. Thank you. And thank you for giving me a third date.

0:39.4

And we know what third date means.

0:44.2

You're going to catch the baby?

0:46.3

What? Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

0:49.2

I'm going to rub afterbirth all over me and like, let's get going.

0:53.0

Oh, thank you.

0:54.0

What is this for oh my dear

0:55.8

i uh oops i need an opener that is not a twist off it's not a twist off i know a twist off when i

1:02.0

see one i figure we'd have a nice nice date oh that's what it means as we drink wine i don't i can't

1:08.4

have one i can't have alcohol. Listen. Listen.

1:11.3

You're going to drink for the both of us.

1:12.4

I'll eat for the both of us.

1:13.6

Okay, great.

1:14.7

What cravings have you had?

1:16.1

Oh, you know, my first one I didn't crave anything but like fruit really.

1:19.7

Like I wanted pineapple and stuff.

1:21.7

Yeah.

...

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