Are They Avoidant or An Asshole? with Ken Reid
Seeing Other People
Ilana Dunn
4.5 • 608 Ratings
🗓️ 24 September 2024
⏱️ 64 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Counselor Ken Reid joins us for an insightful discussion on attachment styles, particularly focusing on avoidant attachment. Ken delves into the complexities of avoidant and fearful-avoidant attachment styles, explaining their origins and how they manifest in adult relationships. He shares his personal journey and professional expertise, highlighting the importance of self-awareness and the challenges of healing from developmental trauma. The episode offers practical advice for those struggling with attachment issues, emphasizing the value of therapy and the need for a supportive network.
Work with Ken's team at kenreidcounselling.com.au
01:57 Personal Journey into Counseling
04:10 Experiences with Avoidant Partners
09:55 Attachment Styles Overview
19:08 Challenges in Relationships with Avoidant Partners
22:11 Communicating with Avoidant Partners
25:06 Doing the Inner Work
30:10 Understanding Avoidant Attachment
31:06 The Importance of an Accountability Team
33:01 Challenges in Therapy for Avoidant Attachments
34:22 Finding Problems with Partners
39:01 Attachment Styles and Adult Relationships
47:47 Self-Sabotage and Healing Attachment Wounds
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This podcast is brought to you by Podcast Nation. |
| 0:04.8 | Hey guys, it's Alana and welcome back to another episode of Seeing Other People. |
| 0:10.1 | Together, we're navigating modern dating alongside experts and real-life daters who are sharing their stories. |
| 0:16.1 | Don't have a date for tonight? No problem. Come learn, laugh, and maybe even cry along with us as we navigate the dating |
| 0:22.3 | scene together. I am so excited for this topic and this guest today. You guys know we've talked |
| 0:26.9 | so much about anxious attachment, but what we haven't really dove into deeply, which is crazy |
| 0:31.8 | to me, is avoidant attachment. And so I have brought on the honestly of all the people that I've researched and gotten to know just from, you know, social media over the last few years. |
| 0:43.3 | I think this person is truly the best to be talking about this topic with us. |
| 0:46.9 | Ken Reid, welcome to seeing other people. |
| 0:49.3 | Thank you very much, Alana. |
| 0:50.7 | I really appreciate that. |
| 0:51.8 | And thank you very much for the kind words. |
| 0:53.4 | I have to say, |
| 0:54.4 | I find avoidant attachment is usually the lesser of the attachment styles that are talked about. |
| 1:00.0 | And in that category, I also include fearful avoidance who are also called disorganized attaches |
| 1:04.7 | because they don't get a lot of love from a lot of experts. But yeah, it's been a bit of a passion |
| 1:10.6 | of mine to do the research on this. |
| 1:12.1 | And I have to say, I think everyone who's been out and dating, and, you know, to some degree, |
| 1:17.2 | even in life, we will have had plenty of experience with people who have a dismissive and |
| 1:22.4 | or fearful avoidant attachment style. Yes, I can completely agree. |
| 1:27.9 | And I do think it's interesting. |
| 1:29.6 | In a way, it makes sense that it's the least talked about because the people who are |
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