Are you now, or have you ever been, a Norse god vampire or time traveling cyborg?

I mean, this is what? First grade? I think maybe I would have told you.

Vampire wouldn't tell. Cyborg wouldn't know.

Shut up.

Okay, if it's not any of those, I guess we're looking at your basic spirit guide transformation magic.

That's kind of a biggie, actually.

Oh, man, we've got a biggie ready for you right here, right now, on this Monday afternoon edition of DBTL.

This is the show that is, in fact, probably too beautiful to live.

$300 in a photo ID gives them the right to fly through the air, like one of the guardian owls of legend.

My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host, weighing in at 184 pounds here on this Monday riding.

The little red wagon all I'll have to say. I was like, remember duck tails?

The intro, how they would, you know, life is like a hurricane here in Duckburg, et cetera, et cetera.

They'd be riding in that, like, coal cart in a mine, and they would almost be tipping over.

That could aptly describe my ride on the little red wagon this weekend.

It was about eight different times where I thought, I'm getting off that.

And then I remembered the important words of this man.

You can't ride in my little red wagon.

It actually makes no sense now that I think, because I think he's saying you can't ride in the little red wagon.

That's not inspirational.

We've got a great show for you on this Monday. It's episode 787 in a collector's degree.

Hi, this is Luke from Suzie coming tonight on TBTL.

You know, we have seriously called some things in our life on this show,

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