AP 253: You Don't Have to be the Sacrificial Lamb of Your Family || with Dr. Julie Hanks

About Progress

Cloud10

Health & Fitness, Education, Mental Health, Self-improvement

4.9 • 1.3K Ratings

🗓️ 15 April 2020

⏱️ 39 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Today's episode might make you uncomfortable, but remember, you can have the discomfort of not growing or the discomfort of growing. Let's get started by asking yourself, whose life are you living? Is it really yours and are you really doing it with purpose? Because if not, and you're living for your children, your partner, your parents, etc. then this episode serves to teach you that you don't have to be the sacrificial lamb of your family. Dr. Julie Hanks is lending her expertise as a wife, mother, author, and therapist. She is passionate about self growth even within motherhood and shedding light on finding your sense of self. Here are some spoilers: make your needs just as important as your family's, you are doing a disservice to your children if you each them the word revolves around them, and you can't be selfless without a self. If you feel a little bit lost, uncertain of where to start, or even what's missing, I have been there. In fact, I'm sharing an experience I had years ago that made me feel like pursuing anything outside of my children was selfish. Now I know that to be more selfless, to be able to give of myself to my family, I have to be my whole self first. Tune in to this episode for the practical push you need find your passions again. About a few other things... With all this time we have been spending at home, some of my organization struggles have been on the forefront of my mind. In January I released an organization audio course to help you learn how to cut the clutter and find clarity. That is still available to you before prices go up May 1st. There was also a free organization challenge that I've decided to reopen April 20th, so get signed up and join our Facebook group for all the encouragement and practical tips to get organized in your mind, space, and time. Make sure you're signed up for the Go Getter Newsletter to get each episode's Progress Pointers straight to your inbox every Thursday. SHOW NOTES Julie's Website and Instagram Better Help - 10% off first month with code 'ABOUTPROGRESS' Get the Organization Overhaul audio course Join the monthly membership group Get your first month+ FREE with Libsyn using code MONICA Lend your voice and experience + be featured on the show HERE Join Monica on Facebook and Instagram Songs Credit: DRIVE by Dj Nicolai Heidlas @nicolai-heidlas Music provided by FREE MUSIC FOR VLOGS AND VIDEOS bit.ly/freemusicforvlogs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	You are listening to about progress. This is episode 253. You don't have to be the
0:07.3	sacrificial lamb of your family with Dr. Julie Hanks. Let me start this episode by asking you this question.
0:15.7	Whose life are you living?
0:18.1	As women and especially as moms, we can find ourselves in this position as the sacrificial lamb of our families and many of us too will believe that that is in fact the role we are supposed to take on.
0:31.0	That anything less than that total sacrifice of self to our families is both wrong
0:36.7	and selfish.
0:38.2	I've told the story a few times before, but I think it bears some significance here.
0:43.4	And I dated a guy really seriously before I dated my husband.
0:48.6	And we had one of those conversations where we were talking
0:51.3	about our futures and what we wanted to be like as parents and I was just saying how as a mom I
0:57.4	I wanted to also learn things like maybe go back to school and learn how to play the guitar and paint and learn a language and you
1:04.8	know I shared a few things like that and my boyfriend at the time looked at me and he
1:08.4	said isn't that selfish? Now there are two things about that. that
1:15.0	that phrase isn't that selfish.
1:17.0	One, that was a really good person who said it to me.
1:20.0	And two, even I found myself acting out that belief as a young mom. It is such an
1:28.4	undercurrent to what we think makes a good mom, this act of total, total sacrifice. And when I was in the
1:37.2	middle of that, where did that leave me? It left me with someone who had next to
1:41.9	nothing to give. My sense of who I was was dependent on how my children
1:46.4	proved my parenting is good and worthy. I not only put myself in an impossible situation and position, I placed that on my family as well.
1:56.9	And our experience this only bred disappointment.
2:00.8	The fact is, is that I lost myself in the process of trying to be the sacrificial lamb of my family
	...

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