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Jerry! Friend of Jerry, episode two. I wanted to thank everybody who reached out and thanked me for starting this show revolving around sobriety. The feedback has been amazing. And I knew it'd be really good, but the overwhelming support that a lot of you have showed really means a lot to me. I guess you notice something different I am wearing glasses. I got beat by this fucking eye doctor. I just want to talk about that first. Last year I had 2015 vision, which is better than 2020. So within a year, for some reason my vision ended up getting blurry. I don't know why. I would say maybe more time on my phone, staring at a computer screen, but Dr. Chang beat me for $345 for two pairs of prescription glasses. I don't know how somebody's vision gets that bad within a year, but mine did. So I guess I'll be wearing glasses from now on. I'm not a fan. I got these little things on the side. I don't know if you could see them, but I ordered the wrong thing from the catalog. The picture in the catalog didn't have these side protectors and i don't i didn't think they were this thick but i guess i i guess i'll i'll run with it so let's get into it uh... for the name of the show friend of jerry uh... it's pretty important for those of you who are sober and have been in the rooms of AA and NA. You know what friend of Bill means and if you don't know, essentially what it means is this guy William Wilson, he started, he founded AA and it's pretty much a society of members dedicated to helping each other achieve and maintain a sobriety.

And people who do that call themselves a friend of Bill. I have the sobriety logo and obviously this is Friend of Jerry. And I'll tell you kind of where I got that from. Me and my producer Kevin one day, we were,

you know, we wanted to do the show and I asked him and he said, yeah, no problem. Let's do the show. Let's obviously we got to come up with a name. So what are you thinking? And I forget, Kev, what was the, I think we were coming up with names. I think the first option I gave was like, Like what, starting from scratch or something like that?

Um, yeah, I think it was something like start from scratch.

Yeah, something like that Yeah, I think it was something like start from scratch. Yeah something like that I think it was I think it was starting from scratch was the first thing and I was like eh I don't really like it then we were I Think come came up with a few more and then I was just obviously I knew what the sobriety symbol was but I want to get different styles of it and And obviously typed in Google the sobriety symbol was, but I wanted to get different styles of it. And I obviously typed in Google sobriety symbol. I know what it is. And they had all these different options. And then one of the images said, Friend of Bill. And I was like, oh, that's it. That's it right there. And Kev was like, I love it. I love it. Friend of Jerry. It ties each this together pretty much and it makes sense. And for people who know Friend of Bill, it's an easy concept to grasp. And it's an easy for somebody even not in sobriety if they're a friend of mine to listen to the show. So this is how I pretty much came up with the name,

and a big part of this story is what clicked for me what the name was. I was in Arizona, and I think I was maybe, I don't know, two years sober at the time. I was still living in Scottsdale. And I went to a bar with a couple of buddies to watch. I think it was a football game game or it might have been uh... an o t b off off track betting horses and you know we're sitting at the bar and i ordered i think a surely temple or cranberry and celt or something i think it was a surely temple so i ordered a surely temple and bartender gives it to me i drink it and you know i've slide over after I'm done, and she goes, hey, you want like a beer, or like a vodka and soda or something like that? And I'm like, no, it's okay, you know, I don't drink. And then she says, hey, are you a friend of Bill? And right then I knew, and I said, yes'm a friend of Bill So there's other people in this world and I think a lot of them like our bartenders They know what that means so that's kind of how I I got into Pick in that name for the show I wanted to get into a few questions regarding I put up a story on my Instagram and people submitted a lot of questions but before I get into the questions I want to bring up a story real quick. There's this guy who messaged me that I used to I used to work with it so it's so it really hit home this morning. I woke up to it. It was the first thing I read in the morning. And pretty much he was just thanking me for putting out this show and he wasn't an addict and he wasn't a drug addict, but he had a brother who was. And he listened to the show first episode and just was thanking me and telling me it was it was amazing and he told a story how pretty much he used to tell his brother while his brother was getting high and stealing from him and robbing him and he used he you know he would tell his brother I never want to see you again I never ever want to hear from you again I don't you know, I don't care what what happens to you all this stuff and um You know his brother ended ended up passing away and That that really hit home for me any any and he was like, you know your mother never gave up on you and I I wish it's something that I did for my brother. And I don't even know how I would end up dealing with that. You know, I just said, you know, I appreciate the story. And don't don't never think it's, it's, it's your fault because it's not your fault and obviously You can't take back anything you said, but just remember it's not your fault and You know I look forward to you know You know we didn't talk much when we worked together and I didn't know anything about his story but but I hope in the future we get to hang out and just have a conversation and talk to each other because I don't want this guy thinking that it's his fault because it's not and to not have any regrets, but it's such a sad story and really really hit home for me and I'm super grateful that my mother never gave up on me and I know to this day I know for a fact that goffer bid I went back out there and I started running again and I started again high and stealing and all this and all this stuff. I know for a fact I could take advantage of my mother again and she would do it all over again and people asked me How do you know that? How do you know she wouldn't just cut you completely off and never want to hear from you again? And I know that because she told me that before She has said I would do it all over again. I would fight for you all over again. I would go through it all over again. And that's something I never want to do because I would be a fucking scumbag if I ever put her or anybody in my family through that again. So Kev, let's start with the first questions that somebody wrote to the show. Yeah, so the first question we have says, as a fellow guy in recovery, what do you do to maintain your sobriety? Did he mean to say meetings here? Or meetings really aren't my thing. Not judging to those who do that. just curious as to what helps. I'll speak on for what worked for me because I really don't know what'll work for somebody else. I didn't start this show to tell people how to handle their sobriety, but I'll say what worked for me. So when I went to rehab and my counselor, Joe, he would always reiterate, hey, for the first year, I want you to go to at least one meeting a day. So for the first year, that's exactly what I did. And I'll be completely honest. I'd say for the first, it been so, we're six now. For the first two years of my sobriety, I pretty much went to meetings every single day. And I loved going to meetings. They were great. I felt like they were really helpful. And I noticed after two years of going to meetings, now it was my time to pretty much, you know, I started going to different rehabs and I started going to different hospitals and I would share my story. And a big part of this was because I remember my counselor telling me when I first got sober. He said, for the first year I want you to shut the fuck up and I want you to listen and don't say a fucking word about anything because you don't know shit, okay? And I felt like it was really harsh at the time but he was so right. For the first year going to those meetings I didn't say a fucking word. I didn't give any advice anybody. I didn't tell my story to anybody. All I did was I went to the meeting for one hour. I sat in the same spot the 12 o'clock meeting and I just shut the fuck up and I listened to what everybody else had to say. And even after the first year I really didn't say much and then that's when he pretty much told me Hey, I think you could start sharing now and that's just exactly what I did and I'll be honest I'm to this day. I'm not a meeting guy like I don't go to meetings all the time. I might hit I don't know one a year now but also what I also do to actually like help me is I do speak I have a buddy Vinny I you know he asked me sometimes hey wanting you come down he works in a rehab and he's like hey want you come come down and share your story and help some clients.

And I do that maybe once or twice a year. I've spoke at different treatment centers down in Newark. But yeah, I'm not a big meeting guy and I don't know what works for other people. I just know what worked for me. I'm not going to say, hey, you need to go to meetings every day or hey, the only way you're going to get sober is if you go to meetings and stay in meetings because that's just not true because there's other people that have stopped using drugs that never had a meeting. It was just strongly suggested to me to go to a meeting every single day for the first year, shut up, listen, and when it's your time to talk, it's your time to talk. And that's just what I did. So the moral of that is you don't have to be a meeting guy to stay sober. OK, we got another one, right? We got three more. Yeah, we got another one. This one says, do you ever have the urge to pick up again? And if so, how do you control that? Yeah. I would pretty much be lying if I said that I didn't have any urges to pick up again. How often do they come? Not often at all? Maybe I Don't know Couple times a year now maybe three four times a year now they come But yeah, I definitely have urges and what what stops me pretty much. I don't know what it is, bro. I think it's My brain is so program now like Okay, I still live in the same place that I used to get high in.

I used to get high in I used to live I still live in the same area where I used to go get drugs from I pass it by every single day after I take the train home from work I get in my car and I drive back home I pass the same spot, the same place that I slept in outside every single day. So occasionally, they'll be like a rush or like a thought that comes into my brain like, man, that used to feel so good, and then like within, I'm not even joking, within like 10 seconds. Maybe even less. It's so quick how my brain just switches over to like are you fucking stupid, bro?

Like are you a fucking dummy?

Like why do you even think like that? Why is that even coming into your head?

Look at the life that you have today and I'll be honest

I

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