All right. Clarissa 51. Good man, bad ick. Hi, Tinks. I'm so grateful you're here to help. I apologize in advance that I'm long-winded. I'm type A and thorough. Ha-ha. For context, I'm 51, never married, but I've had several long-term relationships and have been single for the last eight years. I live in a smaller city, around 90,000 people, and the only guys on the apps live to hunt

fish in camp, which is my personal help. My therapist said a lot for patients around the country

have had success with Facebook dating. What? Shockingly, it's so much better than the usual

suspects and it's free. No Rose Jail. Well, I actually met someone on it. He lives two hours

from me, so we've only been on four dates since August. We both have a lot on our plates, but we text every day. I'm willing to move, so that's not an issue for me. Here's the issue. I'm not attracted to him. What the fuck? Every relationship I've had has begun and continued with me being the pursuer. It's the total opposite with this guy. He gives me zero anxiety. There are no games. He's

communicative. He wants to be in a relationship and tells me he adores me. I am not attracted to him

because there's no challenge, aka it's boring. This is where I become shallow about it. I absolutely

cannot stand his hair. He looks like a 90s poser skateboarded dude. And this man is a 53 year old

attorney. I tried hinting by sending one of

his profile picks to him and i said i love this picture of you his reply was yeah my hair was too

short he has he taken it hint and got it cut no how do i tell him his hair is turning me out

without hurting his feelings oh dude i think that i, if you like him, then you need to date him.

And if not, you need to cut it.

Because for me, I've definitely gone on dates with guys where I'm really into them,

but there's one thing that I don't like.

And you can always

change that down the line. But if the hair is enough reason where you're actually like, I can't date

him because of it, then you don't like him that much. That's what I think about it. I don't know.

To me, it sounds like you do really like him. And I think it's kind of a combination of the hair

and the fact that, you know, he's pursuing you. But I, I, I, you know how I feel.

I feel like men should be the pursuer. So I think you've got to have a hard talk with yourself and say,

is it the hair or is this an excuse? Because I don't know. Hair is so workable.

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