Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Very kind. Welcome one and all in here, out there all around the world to the late show. I'm your host Stephen Colbert.

Folks, it, of course, tonight is April 15th. Happy tax day to all who celebrate.

It's actually a very important day for Trump's big, beautiful bill that passed last year,

because even though in the bill, they decimated Medicaid and slash government programs left and right,

they kept saying it's all going to be worth it.

On April 15th of this year,

when people saw their giant tax refunds.

Well, we finally know how much the average American is going to get.

It's $748, which I've got to say, it's pretty good.

Unfortunately, thanks to Trump's war with Iran, this year,

gasoline is expected to cost the average household $740 more.

Let's see, hold on, let's see, $740.

Got that, let's see, what's that, $748?

$7.44, what's it?

I thought that is. That is, so. That's, uh, that's, uh, that's, uh, that's, uh, That's eight bucks.

So congratulations everybody.

Eight bucks doesn't sound like much, but may I remind you, that'll get you eight lotto tickets,

which also happens to be Trump's health care plan.

Now, this would also be a really great time for Americans to get a big check back

because Trump's war has driven consumer sentiment to its lowest level in 70 years since 1956.

When everyone was wearing those buttons that said,

I sprained my knee doing the twist, and now I know like I.

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