Hey dessert listeners, a lot of you know Alina from 90 Day Fiancé the current season. She posted some racist posts on the internet and was called out for it and then she posted on apology and I did a reaction video to her apology and the thesis or the summary I guess I would say is that she did some wrong things she exhibited some harmful attitudes and had in her body

apology video accepted that and taken responsibility for that and apologized for that and I thought she seemed sincere and I broke down her apology in terms of its elements the one element that I was calling her out on was to I mean I don't know what's calling out but I was telling her that she should try to so she's posted by she's posted a reaction to my reaction video so I I hope or I think

she's going to address some of the things that I said and in my video I was talking about how she has come a certain distance down the road of recovery and awareness and rectifying the situation meaning that she accepted responsibility she didn't really I mean she was kind of minimizing it a little bit and the the main question I had about her next step the challenge that I had for her for the next step

was that you know she would say well I was just it was just this thing I didn't know and what I was saying was well how come when there's ambiguity you always go to some kind of racial thing some kind of insensitive racial thing that's something you should start exploring in yourself I don't know but I suspect that there's more work to be done in terms of how you have internalized the racism

in your society of which most if not all societies will inject those ideas and attitudes and prejudices into our minds I have been injected by American society all the racist ideas including racist ideas about Asian Americans and half Asians like myself so I just didn't hear any kind of language around that she just is like I didn't know I would and I know now and I will never do that again I'm sorry and I didn't know at the time and I was just like I don't know if that makes a lot of sense

that you just had no awareness or even if you didn't have awareness like why did you even go there all the time you know not everyone goes there when even when they're unaware of things so hopefully she'll get to it let's watch

hey guys this is Alina and someone who I really respect made a video about my apology video and invited me to do a follow up so of course I couldn't say no to such an invitation

okay good I will say it is a bizarre world in which humble little me professor and therapist sitting in my stupid little office recording videos and pushing on the internet and a famous person on a famous tv show like 90 day fiance will see it one and two respond to it so I'm quite humbled by that

and here we are to be honest when I saw the doctor honda made the video about me my heart sank a little bit because I really love to watch in his reactions and I mean I hope I hope she wasn't hurt by it I mean that's always my terror that's always what keeps me up awake at night is like oh no you know and a lot of the cast members will reach out to me and say you know that they watch my videos and you know I

I try to keep it honest when I'm reacting but I do try to think like well what it and it is actually a practice as a therapist honestly because it's easy to fall into like a negative place a place of bullying a place of judgment and I don't think anyone deserves that

particularly clients but really everyone and so but I hope that she wasn't hurt I did you know I wasn't I didn't pull any punches but I did give her the

benefit of the doubt I thought so let's see what she says he really seems like such a professional and I I could sense it right away like when I started watching the first video that I watched of his

and I actually even learned a lot from his reactions to my story and other people's experiences

said was really okay good so my original I'm waiting for the other shoot a drop I mean mostly because I just don't

want to hurt anyone's feelings it's just like uh because if she were in front of me when I was we

having a conversation I would I've walked her through every you know like I've worked on clients and

their races I worked on students I've worked on myself in my own racism and it takes time you know

and particularly in today's world it's such an accusation to be called a racist or to doing to doing something that's racist

which is by the way the norm it's the rule not the exception so we need to change it and we need to fight it but it shouldn't be something like

oh my god someone has a racist attitude you know it's just like yeah let's same with misogyny and sexism and

classism like it's there it's no one is beyond no one's above it as particularly when you're when

you're not in my field or a similar field that studies this all the time but anyway I was kind of

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